"Do you love me?"

Joh 21:15-17 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Feed My lambs." He said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My sheep." He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Feed My sheep. (NKJV)

I’ve always been intrigued by this exchange between Jesus and Peter. Why Jesus asked him three times? Why specific words were chosen (agapao twice, then phileo)? How Peter felt? But I want to use this account for a different purpose today…as an example of how we show our love for God, for His Son, and most of all for one another. Jesus wanted proof of Peter’s love; he wanted him to do something for Him.

One of Dennis’ favorite stories that he likes to use in a lesson is when a group of men were trying to define love. Dennis asked how we know someone loves us, and the answer was offered, “When they sacrifice for us.” Since Jesus is the greatest example of love that we have, he bears this out throughout His whole life, but specifically in his crucifixion. He sacrificed everything for us! He also asks that we follow Him…so what does that mean?

Jesus told His disciples in John 14:15 that if they loved Him, they would keep His commandments. The apostle John says the same thing in his epistles. We demonstrate our love through our actions. So if the actions are not present, is the love?

In “The Five Love Languages”, the idea is put forth that we each feel loved in different ways: in receiving gifts, through quality time, through words of affirmation, through physical touch, and/or through acts of service. I feel and show love, mostly, through acts of service. As a mom and grandmother, we demonstrate our love by nurturing and caring for and sacrificing ourselves for our kids and grandkids. As a spouse, we show how much we love our other half by putting their needs above our own and taking care of them. The same is true as the adult children of aging parents, we put our lives on hold to serve their needs.

Now, how do we treat one another as friends and brothers and sisters in Christ? I hear a lot of words of affirmation. I see a lot of physical hugs and kisses. Occasionally we even see the giving of gifts for significant events. But when it comes to “quality time” and “acts of service”, I’m afraid that we tend to fall short. How often do we sacrifice our time and efforts to help or just “be there” for one another? People used to be much better at this…before the world provided SO much entertainment and distractions. Now people can just send a quick text and feel good that they’ve “touched base”. They “like” or “love” a post on Facebook and feel like they’ve “been there” for someone who is going through a rough time.

I’m not saying that sending a text or interacting on social media isn’t a good thing! It is wonderful that we have the ability to reach out so easily to people far and near. But it isn’t a replacement for REAL “face time”. It should never be said that a Christian brother or sister spent several days in the hospital and didn’t have a single visitor from someone outside of their immediate family, but it happens all of the time. When someone is suffering from grief or depression, they NEED the people who they love to step up and be there for them. Is it enjoyable? No, not usually. Is it necessary? Yes, absolutely! We need to stop determining how we spend our time by what is the most pleasant pastime for ME? We need to sacrifice ourselves (our time, our effort, our ENJOYMENT) for others. THAT is what real love is!

I have seen friends who will drive all night long to be with someone who is going through cancer surgery…then turn around and drive all day to get back home. That’s love. I’ve seen friends drop what they are doing (and some who would drive for hours) to help locate one who has gone missing and might be in danger. That’s love. I’ve seen friends who opened their homes and their hearts to those who needed a place to stay…sometimes for months, or even years. That’s love. I’ve seen people give away cars, give (not loan) hundreds or even thousands of dollars, donate furniture and household goods, and do whatever was necessary for those who were in need. That’s love. I’ve seen people show up on a doorstep just to say, “I’m here for you. What do you need?” That’s love.

Let’s all be more aware of how we can SHOW our love for another…not just say the words.

Mt 25:31-46 "When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. "All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. "And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. "Then the King will say to those on His right hand, 'Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 'for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; 'I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.' "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? 'When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 'Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.' "Then He will also say to those on the left hand, 'Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: 'for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; 'I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.' "Then they also will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?' "Then He will answer them, saying, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' "And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." (NKJV)

Dealing with dementia, yogurt making, and upcoming meeting

Had another Care Plan Meeting this morning for Dad. He is doing ok, but we can all see a slow, steady decline in his physical and mental state. In our meeting this morning, I mentioned that he missed activities sometimes because he forgot what time or day it was. So they said they would have the activity director go to his room each time to let him know what was happening. I’m hoping he will do more things that way. I bought him a clock last week (thanks, Paula!) that is made for dementia patients. It shows the day of the week, the date, the time of day (morning or afternoon), and the time in big lighted print. He says it is helping him keep up with times and days better.

Medicare ended last week, so we are back on private pay, and he isn’t getting his therapies anymore. They will probably start him on restorative therapy three times a week to help keep him from losing strength. He fell in the wee hours this morning, while getting up to go to the restroom. He is ok…just banged up his hand. He was having trouble with his hip yesterday, so I imagine that is probably what caused him to fall. I tell you, it sure gets your heart racing to get a call at 4:20 am from the nursing home!

One way that I know the clock is helping is that Dad was waiting on us yesterday morning when we went to pick him up to take to church. He hasn’t done that in months! (He is usually asleep and seems a bit confused when we wake him to go.) When we got there yesterday, “the front porch crowd” told us that he had been outside and had just gone back in. The nurse told us the same thing as we passed her station. When we got to his room, Dad was sitting in his chair and barked, “Why didn’t you pick me up for church this morning?!” We told him that’s why we were there…it was only 9:37. I don’t know how long he had been waiting outside, but it must have felt a lot longer than it was! On our way down the hall he jerked, which is when his hip “caught” and started hurting. The nurse gave him some Tylenol for pain before we left. I had to give him some more at lunch. He hasn’t been taking anything for pain in a long time! I’m hoping this will be short-lived.

Yesterday was our monthly potluck, and Dad always enjoys going to those. One thing he still enjoys in life is eating! I started sitting on the back row beside him since he tried to do his little disappearing act last week. It works out better all around for me to be close by to keep an eye on him and help him when he needs it. He is much more accepting of my help lately…doesn’t get angry all the time like he used to. I think, in some ways, he understands that he really needs my help now. He has been fiercely independent up until now and resented me doing things for him. I’ve had to walk a tightrope, trying to do what needed to be done without stepping on his toes more than necessary. It is nice now that he seems to welcome my assistance (for the most part).

I’m making my second batch of yogurt today. We all really enjoyed the batch I made last week! I add vanilla and some monk fruit sweetener to the whole batch after it is made and strained. Dennis likes to just add fresh blueberries to his. I like mine with a little lime zest and juice (just needs some graham cracker crumbs and it would taste just like key lime pie!). I also like mine with fresh berries and sliced almonds…kind of like a parfait. It is pretty simple to make…just takes a long time for the process (8 hours for the fermentation, and then straining it overnight). I’m looking forward to trying it out on the littles. I’ll probably stir some strawberry preserves into theirs to sweeten it up to their liking.

Plans are underway for our October meeting at Highway. It will be the last weekend in Oct…the 25th-27th. Ron Dunavant, Charles Baxter and Richard Newhart are going to be our speakers. We’ll have a Friday night service (7:30, I think), a Saturday morning service (10:30) followed by a day of activities at the Pettits’, then our normal Sunday morning service, with a potluck afterwards, and a singing service that afternoon. We are going to have to get busy when we get home from the wedding, to get ready. I’m going to be fixing up a second guest room (which will also be our grandkid room).

I am still waiting on fall weather to arrive! Even though it is no longer getting up into the 100’s, the highs keep reaching up to the mid-90’s. With all of the summer rains we’ve had, though, our grass is still green and flourishing. Dennis is looking forward to cooler nights, so he doesn’t have to keep mowing every week! I’m waiting for the mornings to be down in the 60’s or low 70’s, so I can start getting some walking or biking in.

Well, I guess I’d better get some cleaning done. Fun times! Take care now, y’hear?!

I think I can almost smell fall...

Only two more weeks until fall is officially here! If you hadn't noticed, autumn is my favorite time of year. I pretty much love everything about it (except for the inevitable allergies that it aggravates). The temps are beginning to moderate a little, which gives hope for actual cooler weather in the near future. I absolutely love the cool nights! Even though I haven't camped in years, I get the itch as the nights start to get chilly. Nothing quite like sitting around a campfire on a cool fall evening!

The leaves will soon begin to start changing colors. I recently bought a t-shirt that says "My favorite color is fall". I have always loved the russet tones, along with the vivid reds and golds and oranges that fall ushers in. I love seeing pumpkins and leaf decorations everywhere.

Of course, this fall will be even extra special with a wedding in the mountains of New Mexico! I know that it will be beautiful. We are all hoping for pleasant weather for the occasion.

One of the benefits of cooler weather is the ability to start baking more. I have baked more than usual this summer, since I started doing my sourdough. But I really hate to run my oven that much when the outside heat is already taxing our A/C. But as cooler temperatures arrive, it is a pleasure to crank up the oven and bake something that fills the house with delightful aromas. Nam has been after me for weeks to make some snickerdoodles. I kept putting him off, telling him that I needed to wait for cooler weather to bake them. I finally decided that I had made him wait long enough and baked up a double batch last Friday. Sheila and Matt had invited us over for supper, so I decided to bring them along for dessert. Nam wasn't the only one who enjoyed them!

Speaking of supper at Sheila's...she and Matt have gotten into cooking meat by the sous vide method. They fixed venison roasts Friday night for us. It was EXCELLENT! The meat is so tender and flavorful! I've never really liked using venison for roasts, because it is usually so dry, but this changed my mind. I may have to get into sous vide cooking!

I finally broke down last week and ordered an Instant Pot. (Thanks, Crystal, for sharing about the sale!) It came in yesterday, and I just happened to have a chicken that I planned to cook for supper. I cooked it on the slow cooker function, which worked good, but I didn't have enough time for the chicken to fully cook. So I pressure cooked it for a few minutes and it turned out perfectly! I'm looking forward to trying out all of the different things that can be done with the pot. Sherry has been talking about how good it is for making yogurt. I plan to try that out later this week.

Dad continues to regress a bit from his little spurt of energy after the funeral. He has really been struggling with time...he never knows what day it is or even what time of day it is. I bought him a day-at-a-glance calendar that I'm hoping will at least help him with the day of the week. He's been missing bingo lately, because he doesn't realize that it is the day to go. His ability to think and react has really been compromised, too. You never know what he's going to do. Yesterday morning, during the lesson at church, he got up and headed outside. Jamie got our attention, and Dennis and I hurried out after him to see what was wrong. He was just going to the car, because he was looking for a Kleenex. We got our travel tissues from the car and gave them to him and sent him back inside. I guess I need to buy him a box to keep beside him on the pew (even though he carries handkerchiefs in his pocket all of the time). I may have to move to the back pew, so that I can keep an eye on him!

We took Dad to Braum's for lunch yesterday. Going out to eat is getting to be more challenging all the time. He is just too confused to handle making decisions. I usually end up having to step in and order for him. He tries to order more food than he can eat, because he wants to carry leftovers back to keep in his refrigerator. That was a disaster back at Brookdale! They kept their little fridge full of takeout and leftovers...for weeks! We had told him he couldn't do that with this little fridge. That doesn't stop him from trying though. I'm constantly having to clean it out (with help from the housekeeping staff) because of the drinks and food items that he brings back from the dining room every day. Once a hoarder....Plus I can't take my eyes off of him for a minute. He tried to sit at a booth yesterday that had other people's personal items lying on the table. (But it was the same booth that we sat in the last time we were there.) It is really taking me a long time to truly realize how much supervision that he needs. In my heart, I keep hoping that he'll "get better" and act on that hope. In reality, he's not going to get better...only worse. I hope that I can eventually be at peace with his condition. I'm not there yet. There are still many days that I barely make it to the car before the tears come.

Dennis has been wanting to get a good, cheap 4-wheeler to use for his hunting (and hauling corn to his feeders). He's always just walked and used a dolly-type deer hauler, but his age is making that more difficult now. He finally found a great deal and brought one home on Friday. He is having to fix it up a little (it is 23 years old), but it should take care of his needs for the rest of his deer-hunting career.

Well, I need to get started with my chores. I hope this week treats you all well.

Settling into a new norm/Labor Day 2019

Last week was busy and productive. It was so nice to have the time to do what I needed and/or wanted to. I emptied my pantry, and Dennis put in the final (top) shelf. Then I went through everything and threw out things that were out of date. I put everything back in (I hope) a more efficient order. I’m still having to learn where everything is. I think it will be better once I get used to everything’s new position.

I also emptied out my dining room storage closet. I had never really organized it to begin with…just added stuff where it would fit when we were remodeling. I thinned out a lot of stuff that I never use anymore and either gave it away or threw it out. I went through all of my recipe cards and consolidated (after throwing out a bunch of unused ones) them all in one card file (instead of four!). I got rid of the last of my shaped cake pans and cake stands. I was able to fit everything back in a much more orderly manner. I still have some old flower vases to get rid of, but I plan to take them to a local flower shop this week to see if they will take them. I think I will tackle my spice drawer this week!

One day, I defrosted Dad’s freezer in his mini-fridge. He likes to turn it all the way up, which causes the freezer section to ice up. My hair dryer made short work of the defrosting operation, and I got everything cleaned up. I have to clean the cups out of it every day or two. Dad’s hoarding instinct is primarily directed at cups of water and milk these days. He will bring one of each back from each meal and adds them to the others from all of the other meals in the fridge. One day I removed about a dozen and returned them to the kitchen. I left him several in there, so the next day I had to remove another half dozen or so. I’ve told the kitchen staff that anytime they run short, just go check his little fridge!

Dad did pretty good all week. He participated in the activities at the home and even made the Fox 4 news! He really got a kick out of that. When I showed him the picture on my phone, he told me to get him a print made for his wall. Thanks to same day photo processing, I had it hung the next day. Some days he was pretty talkative (for him); others, he seemed down…which makes sense, seeing as he is still grieving. His memory seems to be getting worse, but he is more alert than he had been. I guess he is getting into his new norm. He seems pretty comfortable with the way things are. We took him to Haslet today. I figured he would really enjoy seeing everyone. He would smile when folks spoke to him and hugged him, but he didn’t really interact with anyone. He ate a big plate of food at lunch, plus a big plate of desserts! After eating, he played a little solitaire and then went to sit by the door. I asked him if he was ready to go home, and he said he was. So we gathered up our things and took him back to the home. He seems to have lost all of his understanding of social norms. He just does what he wants to do and doesn’t consider how it affects anyone else. We are constantly picking up after him. He is constantly wiping his nose with a tissue and then just dropping it wherever he is. We have to keep an eye on him to try to keep him out of trouble. Everyone at Haslet was really good at helping out today. All of the ladies would try to wait on him and take care of his trash. Then Ed D. “babysat” him when he went towards the door…making sure he didn’t wander off or do something that might get him hurt. After a little incident on our way back home, Dennis and I decided we don’t need to take him out anymore except for short jaunts to church or Braum’s. You just never know what he might do. When we got back to his room, I asked if he had enjoyed the day, and he was noncommittal, so I’m not even sure he gets any benefit from outings. He seems to prefer just being in his room watching tv.

Dennis and I spent all day in Haslet yesterday for the Labor Day Weekend get-together. We always really enjoy our time visiting with everyone and enjoying the activities. Of course, there is always WAY too much food and goodies. Kay always like to have some little special something planned. This year it was ice cream floats. YUM! There were makings for all sorts of embellished and flavored floats, but I opted for an old fashioned root beer one. We really appreciate all of the hard work that goes into the weekend! We’ve been enjoying them for 20 years!

We brought Nam home with us today, since he doesn’t have school tomorrow. His mom will pick him up in the morning. We enjoyed our conversation coming home. I love our talks with that kid! Then just as we were pulling into MW, he fell asleep! Wouldn’t you know it?! But since we had to take Dad home (which is on the far west side of town), he was able to get in a pretty good nap. Dennis stayed in the car with the a/c on, while I took Dad in and got him settled. Nam continued to sleep until we pulled up in the driveway and Dennis got him out of his seat. He and Grandad have played some, we went to McDonald’s for supper, and now we are watching “Lady and the Tramp” before bedtime, then we’ll get up to pancakes in the morning…our little sleep-over tradition.

I have another “free” week this week. I’m hoping to meet with Dad’s new doctor on Tuesday when he makes his rounds. I also have to reserve a room at a restaurant in Ruidoso for the rehearsal dinner on Oct. 3. It’s hard to believe the wedding is just a month away!

I hope I can accomplish as much this coming week as I did last week. I’m enjoying having time to do more around the house. I’ve neglected it for far too long! We don’t plan to start back on any remodeling until after the wedding and our meeting in October. By then it will be hunting season, so we may not get much done until the first of the year! We want to finish the living room (mostly painting and a little remodeling of the “entertainment area”), and then redo the hall bathroom. We will also fix up our spare bedroom into a second guest room. I’m wanting to fix it up for the grandkids. I still have to figure out how I want to do it though. We’ll save our bedroom for last, because it will be a pretty involved remodel. The last thing will be laying the carpet throughout the living room, hall and master bedroom. I HOPE that we can get it all done sometime in 2020.

Well, I hope you all stay safe in this coming week!