Happy New Year and New Decade!

Well, it is that time of the year when we look back and see what we have accomplished this year, and look forward to plan and resolve to do better in the year to come. I didn’t do very well in 2019. Instead of losing weight, I gained. I didn’t stick with an exercise routine. My eating habits didn’t improve much, if any. I didn’t really do any craftwork. We didn’t do any renovations on the (inside of the) house. I didn’t make any real headway in several areas where I had hoped to make improvements.

It was a year of many changes, however…MAJOR changes! We had two weddings, a death, a dramatic change in my dad’s circumstances, and some health issues amongst different family members. Most of the time, I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water. That’s not to say that it was a bad year, but it was overwhelming at times. Some of the changes were wonderful! I couldn’t be happier with my new son-in-law and daughter-in-law. I love the changes that have taken place in our lives because of them! Nam starting school has freed up a lot of our time, but we also miss him terribly! We went from having him 3-4 times a week to seeing him 2-3 times a month. However, that has also allowed us to have more time with our other grandkids. Plus the time we have with him now is more “special”. We can act more like grandparents, rather than caregivers. So changes can have mixed results in our lives, both physically and emotionally.

I’ve been working on my “resolutions” for 2020. Even though I don’t know what challenges we will face in the coming year, I’m sure there will be many. I hope that I can keep my resolve to make needed changes in my life, in spite of the obstacles that may be placed in my path. I’m already working on my health resolutions. I have resumed my stationary biking and am trying to eat better. (I’m really good at eating well…for a time. Then I fall back into old habits!) I’ve already lost a few pounds. Hopefully, that will continue! I also started on my CPAP treatment last night. According to Dennis and Nam, I didn’t snore or make any noises! According to my app’s report, I only had 7 incidents all night instead of the 63 per hour that registered on my sleep test! So I ought to start feeling much better!

I have resumed my volunteer job. I’ve been “on sabbatical” for the past year and a half. I didn’t really expect to stay gone that long. Every time I thought I might be ready to return, something else would happen! But I’m hoping that things will stay calm (relatively speaking) now, so that I can do more than just take care of my family. I’m also wanting to get out of my comfort zone and try new ways of reaching out to others. I’m still not sure what, exactly, that is going to consist of, but I’m excited about the possibilities. As always, I’m wanting to draw closer to God and follow in Jesus’ footsteps more fully. That’s a goal that will always keep me busy! I constantly battle this old fleshly heart and pray for God to change it to one that is completely led by His Spirit. I am most definitely a work in progress!

I’m hoping that we are able to resume our house renovations this year! Dennis has been working in the garage lately. He redid the walls and is currently building cabinets for storing and organizing everything. We are planning to finish off the living room next, as well as redo the hall bathroom. I would love to see all of this happen in 2020, but I’m not holding my breath. Then we’ll just have the south end of the house to do, which will also include a bathroom redo. Baby steps!

So, I am excited to begin the new year and see what all is in store! I hope that this coming year and new decade will bring good things to all of you and that you will face whatever challenges arise with trust in God and hope in your heart. Happy New Year!

Busy time of year!

Dennis and I had a “date afternoon” last week and went to see “It’s a Wonderful Day in the Neighborhood.” I loved it. Mr. Rogers was such a dear, sweet man who loved people, especially children. I read an article that said he agonized over every word and action in his show…making sure that there was nothing said or done that could confuse a child. He was so gentle and loving! I really recommend the movie to anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.

We had a care plan meeting for Dad last week. Things are about the same…just steadily getting weaker and more tired. The hospice social worker visited him Tuesday…first time since he was first admitted to the service a month ago. She was surprised by how much he had declined. She doesn’t think he’ll be around much longer. He still gets up for meals and to go to the restroom, but the rest of the time he just wants to sleep. She suggested that I read to him during my visits, which I did on Wednesday. When I asked him yesterday if he wanted me to read to him, he said no, that he was too tired. He did have a visit from Ralph and Linda S and Diane B on Monday. Diane said he seemed to enjoy it and stayed awake the entire time.

I had decided to take on a new CASA case after the first of the year after my year-and-a-half long sabbatical. Last week, our director sent out a list of new cases that needed advocates, and one caught my eye. It was just what I needed to get back “in the game”. I met the child and foster mom on Monday and attended the adversary hearing Tuesday morning. Things have changed since my last case and I feel really rusty, so it will take me awhile to get reacclimated!

Last Friday evening, Caleb had his piano recital at Bass Hall. (It was actually in the building across the street where they hold the Van Cliburn competition.) We went to Matt and Sheila’s, early, to take them their deer meat and Christmas presents. Then we all (including Andy and Sherry) went to eat supper together before heading downtown for the recital. It was fun! Most of the students were beginners, so I got a bigger kick out of watching Nam’s reactions than listening to the numbers. He was hilarious! During one piano piece, the little girl was playing a familiar tune. Dennis whispered to Nam the name of the song, and Nam looked askance at him and asked, “How can you tell?!!!” (I admit, it took me a minute or so to recognize it myself!) Caleb did a really good job, though. I was so proud of him! He had the biggest cheering section too!

Sheila and Nam came over for several hours on Saturday. Nam and Grandad played, while Sheila and I did some cooking for the freezer. We really enjoyed their visit! All three of us are looking forward to Nam’s two-night sleepover in a couple of weeks.

We didn’t take Dad to church on Sunday for the first time. I didn’t tell him before hand, we just didn’t show up. We went by later to take him communion, but he was sound asleep, so we didn’t disturb him. He hasn’t said anything about it all week, so I’m not sure he even realized that we didn’t take him. He used to would have been really angry with us! I don’t know whether it is a matter of not noticing or just being too tired to care anymore.

We had some visitors from Amarillo at Highway Sunday morning, so a few of us went out to eat lunch together. We had a great time! It is nice to be able to do things like that again. It has been quite a while since we've had that freedom. Dennis and James S left from church that evening to go on their hunting trip. They got back yesterday afternoon with a LOT of meat! We probably have plenty now for us, as well as being able to share one with Amber and Ricky. Dennis loves being able to provide meat for the whole family!

I went back for my follow-up visit with the doctor Tuesday. I’m definitely needing a CPAP machine. I should be hearing from the company who will provide it soon to set up a time to come out and get me set up. I hope I adjust to it quickly and start feeling more rested!

After my doctor visit, I headed over to Diane B’s house for the night. We met up with several other ladies from Henrietta Creek at the Palace Theatre in Grapevine to watch “White Christmas”. The theatre is a historical landmark. They do things a little differently from other movie theatres. There were no ads or previews. Instead, a lady came out to tell everyone a little about the theatre and the movie. There was a balcony section, which sounded like fun, but one of our ladies was concerned that she wouldn’t be able to handle the stairs. The house was packed and the crowd was more interactive than usual at the movies (clapping after certain scenes and at the end of the movie, lots of laughter, and you could even hear a few people singing along with the movie). We loved it! We talked about making it an annual event. The section of Grapevine where it is located is all decorated up with lights and photo ops, with Christmas music playing. It was really pretty!

After the movie, Diane and I went back to her house, put on our jammies and watched an OLD Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck movie before turning in for the night. I always enjoy our “girl time” at Diane’s house! Btw, her broken wrist is much better! She doesn’t have to wear her splint anymore and is hoping to be released this week. She still doesn’t have full function back (which may take a year), but she is steadily making progress.

Wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas!

Special Family Time

Good Monday morning! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

I am feeling much better. Went to the doctor and got a steroid shot last week which helped tremendously! It lasted a couple of days which allowed me the energy to do what I needed to do for our dinner with the kids Friday night. I loved our time together! I’m considering making it a monthly “thing”, if we can work it out with everyone’s schedules. We enjoyed our tamales (I’m really starting to get the hang of making them), and then began butchering a deer for Matt and Sheila. Rick and Amber looked through old photos. I’m trying to trim back my picture collection DRASTICALLY, so I’m letting all of the kids go through them all before I toss them. I’ve already picked out what I want to keep. Everyone was enjoying the trip down memory lane.

Nam spent the night with us after his folks left. We didn’t have as much time to spend with him this time, since we were so busy with other things. We plan to do a two-nighter at the end of the month, though. He wanted to spend some time with Pappy and Rue, also, so we took him to their house Saturday morning. We also enjoyed our visit with them. It had been too long!

I heard back from the doctor’s office, and I do have severe sleep apnea. I go in next week to check on my options, but I’m pretty sure it is going to be a CPAP machine in my future. *groan* Hopefully it will help me have more energy though.

I think yesterday was probably Dad’s last time to attend church with us. When we picked him up, the nurse told us he was REALLY sleepy. He was up when we got to his room, but he needed help with getting dressed. He actually stayed awake during the assembly, but he was very confused and agitated…kept wanting to get up and walk to the restroom, even though he didn’t need to go. We finally left early and took him back home. He’s at the point where he isn’t really getting anything from going other than the satisfaction of knowing he’s going. I haven’t talked to him about it yet, but I don’t think we can keep this up any longer. Dennis and I are so distracted with keeping him in check that we miss out on too much of the assembly.

Dennis has another hunting trip next week. While he’s gone, I am going to spend one night with Diane B. We plan to go watch “White Christmas” at the theatre. It ought to be a lot of fun! I love girls’ night out!

I guess that’s all for now. I hope you all have a great week and make some special plans with friends and/or family! Love y’all!

November update: a lot of laughter and tears

The past month has been pretty busy for everyone. Early in the month, I went to see my doctor about my extreme fatigue that has been plaguing me for a month or two. He ordered bloodwork to see if it was metabolic (all was normal) and a home sleep study to be done. I ended up receiving the sleep study last week, so I had to do it while sick with this crud that I’ve been battling. I hope it doesn’t skew the results. I won’t get the results of it for another couple of weeks. Dennis and I have often wondered if I might have sleep apnea, because I have ALWAYS been a bad snorer. I guess we’ll soon find out.

We had a couple of Nam sleepovers in November and have one planned for this Friday night. We don’t get to see him much otherwise now that he goes to school fulltime. We sure enjoy our time together! I guarantee you, there is a lot of smiling going on during those visits.

I was able to go to Clarksville to attend Paul’s funeral, thanks to Diane B. agreeing to ride along with me. That would have been a grueling trip to make by myself, but it was a pleasant drive having a friend to catch up with. Dennis was in South Texas on a state park hunt that he’d been drawn to participate in. He hated missing the funeral, but he was already paid and had his accommodations paid for the week. The funeral was packed with loved ones. It was a good funeral, and I don’t often say that. I’m pretty picky when it comes to funeral stuff. Keith and Donny did a great job, though. I know it had to have been really hard on them! The funeral was very emotional for me…not only because I’m going to miss that sweet man, but it also hit really close to home. We had just put Dad on hospice the week before Paul passed.

I know everyone wants to know how Dad is doing. He’s just slowing fading…in every way. He still gets up by himself to go to the restroom and dining room (although he really shouldn’t). He still attends Sunday morning services at Highway (although he did miss Sunday before last…was worn out from coming over for our Thanksgiving). He is down to about 130 pounds, and you can see every vertebra and every rib. He can still talk, he just chooses not to most of the time. Trying to formulate a sentence is difficult, although he does fine with answering yes/no questions. He does still recognize people, he just doesn’t usually respond to them. In many ways he is about on Gracie’s level. He does feed himself, but you have to restrict his access to food or he’ll start grabbing things he shouldn’t. He ends up with as big a mess or more so than you would expect from a 1 ½ -2 year old. He’s pretty compliant most of the time, but his independent streak still flares up when you’re not expecting it! He doesn’t seem to be in pain, but he is exhausted all of the time. He spends about 95% of his time in bed, asleep.

I attended the Thanksgiving dinner at MWN&R with Dad on the 21^st. (Dennis was still is S TX). It was really nice! They served a huge plate of food, including some of the best ham I’ve ever eaten. I later found out that one of the employees had smoked it themself. Then all of my kiddos came on the 23^rd for our family Thanksgiving dinner. Dennis picked up Dad and brought him over to enjoy the meal, then he was ready to go back home. (He really loved Sheila’s homemade cranberry sauce!) Everyone was there except Ian, who had to work. It was a great day, with lots of good eating, laughter, and memories. Stephen’s family had spent Friday night here, but then spent Saturday night with the newlyweds.

I ended up sick after the weekend, and have been fighting the crud ever since. Sheila and Nam have also been down with it. I went to the doctor today and got a steroid shot and some nasal spray to see if that will help. The nurse told me that RSV has been going around and it takes 3-4 weeks to get over. Not sure if that’s what we have, but it is rough and relentless. Saps all the energy out of a body! I always struggle with a bad cough when I get sick, which makes sleeping difficult. Thankfully, I haven’t had anything big that I needed to do, so I’ve been able to rest when I need to rest. I’ve been using the time to go through old picture albums and picking out my favorites to keep. I’ll be tossing the rest, after the kids have gone through them and picked out any that they want. I did this with Dad’s old pictures when we sold his house. I don’t want my kids to have such a huge task to handle when it is their time. I’ve been enjoying my trips down memory lane!

After my doctor visit last month, I bought a stationary cycle to see if I could get on an exercise routine that I could stay with. I struggle with outdoor exercise (the weather, stomach issues, lack of privacy). I’ve gone the treadmill tract before and HATED it! So I did a little research and found a bike that is recommended for “seniors” and is portable enough to move easily from room to room. I did great with it for the first couple of weeks. Then I got busy with getting ready for Thanksgiving and then got sick, so I haven’t been on it in a while. I’m hoping that I start feeling well enough this week to start back. I love using it! I try to ride a few miles in the morning (listening to music) and then a few miles in the evening (while watching TV). It is very low impact, so it doesn’t aggravate my Achilles’ tendon or my ankles.

My Aunt Coez had to go back to the hospital a week and a half ago. She has done this three years in a row…getting sick this time of year and spending weeks in the hospital. She just recently turned 90 and has been living independently in her own home. I’m not sure how much longer that’s going to be possible. She’s not going to have an easy time giving up any of her independence! Please keep her and her family in your prayers. This is a really difficult time of life, with a lot of hard decisions to make.

I’m planning to make tamales over the next couple of days, and have Sheila’s family and Ricky and Amber over for Mexican food Friday night. We all really enjoyed the last tamales I made, and I’ve been looking forward to trying again. I’m going with chicken and green chili again, and also going to try some cheese and poblano ones. (I hope this steroid shot kicks in and provides the “umph” that I need to get it all done.)

Well, that brings us up to date. I hope that all of you are enjoying this holiday season! I just love this time of year!

Home Alone

After a very busy week of getting ready for our meeting and company, then spending the weekend enjoying the meeting and all of our guests, it is nice to have some quiet time! Dennis left this morning to spend the week hunting in East Texas. Andy J and James S are meeting up with him down there. Now, don't get me wrong...I love my husband, and I am very thankful for the time that we have together now that he is retired. But I really enjoy it when I get a little alone time while he goes hunting! I can eat what I want, when I want. I can pretty much hibernate in the house, if I want (which I really do enjoy!), except for going to check on Dad. I can set the thermostat on the temperature that is the most comfortable for me! It has been awhile since I've had a few days to myself, so I have REALLY been looking forward to this week!

Our meeting was GREAT! We had Charles and Belinda, as well as Ben and Laura and their two girls, stay with us. We enjoyed having them SO much! We don't often have the opportunity to have quality time with them. The weekend was pretty crazy (busy), but guests like them make it a little easier to handle! I thoroughly enjoyed all of our speakers, and the singing was amazing. (Thanks to Ron, Charles and Richard for their excellent studies!) Saturday was great! The Pettits opened their place for the group to spend the day, as they did last year. They have such a great place to entertain! We greatly appreciate all of their hard work in providing for the group! We had a potluck Sunday at the Millsap Com. Center, and then our "singing service" that afternoon. Most of our guests left either before or right after lunch, to make it back home at a reasonable hour. There were a few who hung around until the very end. We really enjoyed visiting with everyone! We appreciate each and every one that took the time and effort to make the trip. These weekends wouldn't be the success they are without all of our wonderful visitors!

We didn't even remind Dad of the meeting, because we knew he wouldn't be up to attending more than Sunday morning. He was already exhausted from the weekend before. Sarah P and her sweet family did go by to visit him after leaving the Pettits Saturday evening. She said he recognized her, and he even remembered their visit the next day. He has known Sarah her whole life! I was hoping her visit would perk him up a bit.

Not long after we got home Saturday evening, my phone rang, and it was Dad. (First time he's called in months!) He was very upset and started telling me about how "they" had had a wreck, and I needed to bring him $100 to get them out of there. (I'm assuming he dreamed all of this and got it confused with reality, which he has done on more than one occasion.) I finally got him settled down and told him to go back to his room and I would "take care of it". Then I called the nursing home and told them what had happened, so they would keep a closer than normal eye on him. I guess he forgot about it, because I didn't hear back from him, and he didn't mention it the next morning. He was extra sleepy the next morning. I wasn't sure, when I went to pick him up, if he was going to make it out of bed to go. He did made it to the morning assembly and potluck Sunday. He seemed to enjoy seeing everyone, and he definitely enjoyed the food! He ate everything that I put on his plate and then hit the dessert table 3-4 times. (He actually hit the sweets first!) He stashed a big cluster of grapes and several cookies in his walker to take back to the home with him. Dennis said he kept nibbling out of his pocket all of the way back home. I talked to him a little this morning about the weekend, asking him if he enjoyed seeing everyone. He did, but he was still pretty tired from it all.

I was certainly tired from it all yesterday! I did only what was absolutely necessary and spent most of the day napping...which is MOST unusual for me! Then I slept like a log last night. I'm feeling much more rested today and have started getting everything returned to normal. I LOVE having these meetings, but they take a larger tole on me the older I get!

Well, I hope things are going well where you are! If you made it down for our meeting, thank you so much for coming! We loved seeing you! If you didn't, I hope you were able to spend some quality time with your loved ones. As we were admonished by our speakers, let's be committed, get our priorities right, and rejoice in our blessings as God's children!

And then there were two...

We are about back to normal now after all of the hullabaloo and sickness of the previous two weeks. I’m still fighting fatigue…I want to fall asleep every time I sit down. I’m hoping that will gradually get better. I did sleep better last night. The night before last I was up every hour having to get a drink and go to the bathroom. That doesn’t make for a restful night!

Dennis had to make a rushed trip to Shreveport this past Monday. He couldn’t find his birth certificate, which he needed in order to get his driver’s license renewed. There wasn’t time to order it online, so he just drove over and back in one day. He also decided to go ahead and get his passport last week, since he was taking care of his other documentation. He hasn’t had a passport since he was stationed in Germany! That gets us one step closer to our Alaskan cruise that we hope to go on next year!

I took Dad to the orthopedic surgeon last week with his hip. X-rays showed that he has arthritis really bad in his left hip. It started bothering him a few weeks ago and has been making it difficult for him to walk. The doctor ordered a CT scan to make sure that there aren’t any hairline fractures in the hip that might cause future problems. They did the scan Friday, but we haven't heard the results yet. If there aren’t any fractures, then he’ll do a steroid injection this Friday to try to help with the pain. If there are, then he’ll admit Dad to the hospital and put some pins in his hip. It will be minimally invasive surgery, if they do that. Hopefully, though, he’ll get by with just the injection. He is still declining in pretty much every way. The best description I can come up with is that he is just fading away.

I spent the biggest part of last week resting up from the previous two weeks. Dennis did a little hunting (hasn’t killed anything yet, unless he got something this morning). It was nice to be back to cooking for just the two of us again. I mostly just fixed “kid friendly” foods while the littles were here. I’m still making my yogurt about once a week. With just the two of us, it will last us about a week.
I did do some CASA training last week...and finished up my required 12 hours for the calendar year. Even though I've been on sabbatical, I still have to keep current on my training. I'm hoping that I can be ready to start on a new case after our meeting.

I started fixing up our extra room for a grandkid/guest room. I ordered and received the bed last week. We still haven’t picked out a mattress. I wanted to get one of those mattresses in a box, but Dennis has read a lot of reviews that complained about moisture problems with them. So we plan to do a little shopping around before we decide on what to get. We eventually plan to do some structural renovation in that room, but it will be awhile before we get around to that. Right now, we just need to get it ready for our meeting in two weeks!

The honeymooners should have gotten back home last night. I am looking forward to seeing them and hearing all about their trip!

Saturday we are planning to go to my Aunt Coez’ 90^th birthday party. Dad wants to go with us. I hope he enjoys it. He doesn’t seem to get much enjoyment from anything these days. He has quit playing bingo, and doesn’t say much, if anything, to anyone who tries to visit with him. I’m hoping it will perk him up a little to see a lot of the family. After that party, we are going to Sheila and Matt’s house for a fall party. They really have been enjoying entertaining! Sheila enjoys the fall as much as I do, so she is really excited to host a fall-themed party. That “girl” has always loved to host a good party!

That’s what’s been going on in our lives. How are things going in yours?

Grandparenting, Sickness, and a Wedding to Remember

Before anything else, I want to thank everyone who joined in the celebration of Ricky and Amber’s wedding: Don and Cheryl, who went above and beyond in providing a beautiful site for the occasion…even at the expense of having 100 people track mud through their house and barn; Ken and Kelli, who worked hard at whatever needed to be done…even running all over town at the last minute looking for clear umbrellas; Joe and Leanne, for all of the hard work and expense in throwing a beautiful wedding for our kiddos; Karley, for being available for whatever needed to be done; Jeremy, who did a beautiful job of “tying the knot”; and for everyone else, who drove hundreds of miles to show your love and support…some who weren’t even able to attend after doing so due to health problems. But most of all, I want to thank God for bringing these two together. It has been a joy to watch them grow together in their love for one another and their devotion to Him.


Now, a quick summary of the couple of weeks leading up to the wedding….


Dennis and I had grandparent duty for eight days and had big plans for our special time with our three youngest. Things started out good, with daily trips to the park, lots of reading and playing, and the littles “helping” Grandad trim the tree in our front yard. Then strep reared its ugly head and everyone ended up sick, except for Dennis. We ended up mostly hanging out at the house and doing what we had to in order to get by. Stephen and Mandy made it home Tuesday, and then we all hit the road first thing Wednesday morning to drive to Ruidoso. The Hays family cooked up some yummy enchiladas for supper that evening and had all of us over. We visited, sat around the fire pit, and watched some nice mule deer bucks hanging out in the yard.


When we got to our hotel room that night, Dennis had chills and a fever, so we spent a couple of hours in the ER getting him checked out. He didn’t have strep or the flu, but the doctor gave him some steroids and antibiotics and told him to avoid contact with others unless he was wearing a mask. So he stayed in the hotel all day Thursday, while the rest of us rehearsed and then went out for the rehearsal dinner. Charles and Belinda had arrived early, but Charles had also ended up in the ER with a UTI and spent the weekend in bed. Sheila and Nam also arrived on Thursday, having broken up their trip with a stop in Lubbock Wednesday night. (Nam was loving his first out of state road trip!)


We headed out to the cabin around noon on Friday to set out the pecan pies that I’d brought. Then the photographer was ready to take some pictures of the groom’s family and attendants. Dennis was feeling some better, but he mostly sat outside on the porch and avoided crowds. During this time, we found out about Diane’s fall, which left her with a broken arm and bumps and bruises…and kept her from making it the final few miles to be able to attend. It broke my heart to hear the bad news!


Finally, it was time for the ceremony to begin. Due to the fact that it had been raining almost continuously for 2 days, the wedding ended up being held in the barn, rather than outside where the kids had hoped it would be. It was still a beautiful setting! The parents and grandparents were ushered in, then the wedding party made their entrance. Then it was time for the 3 littles! Then came the moment that we’d all been waiting for! Joe escorted his beautiful daughter down the aisle, and I doubt that there was a dry eye in the place. Amber and Ricky were both fighting back tears, which had me boo-hooing. Jeremy led them through their vows, and then did something I’d never seen before. He had them face the audience and told them that they would never be alone, because each face that they saw before them would always be there for them. It was beautiful! Then he pronounced them man and wife, and the sun broke through the clouds and the rain stopped. So they were able to get the gorgeous outside pictures that they had hoped for before the drizzle started up again. We all enjoyed the finger foods that Amber’s family and friends had provided, then the happy couple cut the delicious cake that the bride had baked and decorated herself. A final group picture was taken, then we all wished the couple well as they took off on their honeymoon. By this time, Dennis and I were both totally exhausted and headed back to our hotel room. We grabbed a quick supper with Sheila and Nam and then had an early bedtime!

After checking out of our hotel the next morning, we dropped by Stephen and Mandy’s cabin to wish Shepherd a happy 5^th birthday, and tell them good-bye. Since we would be going the same direction as Sheila and Nam for a few hours, Nam rode with us for a while. It was nice to spend some extra time with him. We had all been missing one another, since it had been close to a month since we’d seen one another. We finally parted ways and made it the rest of the way home. I managed to get a couple of loads of laundry started before crashing for the night. We were both totally wiped out!


We picked up Dad this morning to go to church, and he was really struggling. We left immediately after the assembly to take him back home, then grabbed some lunch and crashed again. We are both still coughing (and I’m still wheezing), but mostly we are just tired and worn out from the past two weeks. Other than taking Dad to a doctor’s appointment Tuesday morning, we don’t have any other outside commitments for the week. So we plan to try to rest up and recuperate!


I hope we didn’t share any of our germs with anyone else at the wedding!

"Do you love me?"

Joh 21:15-17 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Feed My lambs." He said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My sheep." He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Feed My sheep. (NKJV)

I’ve always been intrigued by this exchange between Jesus and Peter. Why Jesus asked him three times? Why specific words were chosen (agapao twice, then phileo)? How Peter felt? But I want to use this account for a different purpose today…as an example of how we show our love for God, for His Son, and most of all for one another. Jesus wanted proof of Peter’s love; he wanted him to do something for Him.

One of Dennis’ favorite stories that he likes to use in a lesson is when a group of men were trying to define love. Dennis asked how we know someone loves us, and the answer was offered, “When they sacrifice for us.” Since Jesus is the greatest example of love that we have, he bears this out throughout His whole life, but specifically in his crucifixion. He sacrificed everything for us! He also asks that we follow Him…so what does that mean?

Jesus told His disciples in John 14:15 that if they loved Him, they would keep His commandments. The apostle John says the same thing in his epistles. We demonstrate our love through our actions. So if the actions are not present, is the love?

In “The Five Love Languages”, the idea is put forth that we each feel loved in different ways: in receiving gifts, through quality time, through words of affirmation, through physical touch, and/or through acts of service. I feel and show love, mostly, through acts of service. As a mom and grandmother, we demonstrate our love by nurturing and caring for and sacrificing ourselves for our kids and grandkids. As a spouse, we show how much we love our other half by putting their needs above our own and taking care of them. The same is true as the adult children of aging parents, we put our lives on hold to serve their needs.

Now, how do we treat one another as friends and brothers and sisters in Christ? I hear a lot of words of affirmation. I see a lot of physical hugs and kisses. Occasionally we even see the giving of gifts for significant events. But when it comes to “quality time” and “acts of service”, I’m afraid that we tend to fall short. How often do we sacrifice our time and efforts to help or just “be there” for one another? People used to be much better at this…before the world provided SO much entertainment and distractions. Now people can just send a quick text and feel good that they’ve “touched base”. They “like” or “love” a post on Facebook and feel like they’ve “been there” for someone who is going through a rough time.

I’m not saying that sending a text or interacting on social media isn’t a good thing! It is wonderful that we have the ability to reach out so easily to people far and near. But it isn’t a replacement for REAL “face time”. It should never be said that a Christian brother or sister spent several days in the hospital and didn’t have a single visitor from someone outside of their immediate family, but it happens all of the time. When someone is suffering from grief or depression, they NEED the people who they love to step up and be there for them. Is it enjoyable? No, not usually. Is it necessary? Yes, absolutely! We need to stop determining how we spend our time by what is the most pleasant pastime for ME? We need to sacrifice ourselves (our time, our effort, our ENJOYMENT) for others. THAT is what real love is!

I have seen friends who will drive all night long to be with someone who is going through cancer surgery…then turn around and drive all day to get back home. That’s love. I’ve seen friends drop what they are doing (and some who would drive for hours) to help locate one who has gone missing and might be in danger. That’s love. I’ve seen friends who opened their homes and their hearts to those who needed a place to stay…sometimes for months, or even years. That’s love. I’ve seen people give away cars, give (not loan) hundreds or even thousands of dollars, donate furniture and household goods, and do whatever was necessary for those who were in need. That’s love. I’ve seen people show up on a doorstep just to say, “I’m here for you. What do you need?” That’s love.

Let’s all be more aware of how we can SHOW our love for another…not just say the words.

Mt 25:31-46 "When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. "All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. "And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. "Then the King will say to those on His right hand, 'Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 'for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; 'I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.' "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? 'When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 'Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.' "Then He will also say to those on the left hand, 'Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: 'for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; 'I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.' "Then they also will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?' "Then He will answer them, saying, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' "And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." (NKJV)

Dealing with dementia, yogurt making, and upcoming meeting

Had another Care Plan Meeting this morning for Dad. He is doing ok, but we can all see a slow, steady decline in his physical and mental state. In our meeting this morning, I mentioned that he missed activities sometimes because he forgot what time or day it was. So they said they would have the activity director go to his room each time to let him know what was happening. I’m hoping he will do more things that way. I bought him a clock last week (thanks, Paula!) that is made for dementia patients. It shows the day of the week, the date, the time of day (morning or afternoon), and the time in big lighted print. He says it is helping him keep up with times and days better.

Medicare ended last week, so we are back on private pay, and he isn’t getting his therapies anymore. They will probably start him on restorative therapy three times a week to help keep him from losing strength. He fell in the wee hours this morning, while getting up to go to the restroom. He is ok…just banged up his hand. He was having trouble with his hip yesterday, so I imagine that is probably what caused him to fall. I tell you, it sure gets your heart racing to get a call at 4:20 am from the nursing home!

One way that I know the clock is helping is that Dad was waiting on us yesterday morning when we went to pick him up to take to church. He hasn’t done that in months! (He is usually asleep and seems a bit confused when we wake him to go.) When we got there yesterday, “the front porch crowd” told us that he had been outside and had just gone back in. The nurse told us the same thing as we passed her station. When we got to his room, Dad was sitting in his chair and barked, “Why didn’t you pick me up for church this morning?!” We told him that’s why we were there…it was only 9:37. I don’t know how long he had been waiting outside, but it must have felt a lot longer than it was! On our way down the hall he jerked, which is when his hip “caught” and started hurting. The nurse gave him some Tylenol for pain before we left. I had to give him some more at lunch. He hasn’t been taking anything for pain in a long time! I’m hoping this will be short-lived.

Yesterday was our monthly potluck, and Dad always enjoys going to those. One thing he still enjoys in life is eating! I started sitting on the back row beside him since he tried to do his little disappearing act last week. It works out better all around for me to be close by to keep an eye on him and help him when he needs it. He is much more accepting of my help lately…doesn’t get angry all the time like he used to. I think, in some ways, he understands that he really needs my help now. He has been fiercely independent up until now and resented me doing things for him. I’ve had to walk a tightrope, trying to do what needed to be done without stepping on his toes more than necessary. It is nice now that he seems to welcome my assistance (for the most part).

I’m making my second batch of yogurt today. We all really enjoyed the batch I made last week! I add vanilla and some monk fruit sweetener to the whole batch after it is made and strained. Dennis likes to just add fresh blueberries to his. I like mine with a little lime zest and juice (just needs some graham cracker crumbs and it would taste just like key lime pie!). I also like mine with fresh berries and sliced almonds…kind of like a parfait. It is pretty simple to make…just takes a long time for the process (8 hours for the fermentation, and then straining it overnight). I’m looking forward to trying it out on the littles. I’ll probably stir some strawberry preserves into theirs to sweeten it up to their liking.

Plans are underway for our October meeting at Highway. It will be the last weekend in Oct…the 25th-27th. Ron Dunavant, Charles Baxter and Richard Newhart are going to be our speakers. We’ll have a Friday night service (7:30, I think), a Saturday morning service (10:30) followed by a day of activities at the Pettits’, then our normal Sunday morning service, with a potluck afterwards, and a singing service that afternoon. We are going to have to get busy when we get home from the wedding, to get ready. I’m going to be fixing up a second guest room (which will also be our grandkid room).

I am still waiting on fall weather to arrive! Even though it is no longer getting up into the 100’s, the highs keep reaching up to the mid-90’s. With all of the summer rains we’ve had, though, our grass is still green and flourishing. Dennis is looking forward to cooler nights, so he doesn’t have to keep mowing every week! I’m waiting for the mornings to be down in the 60’s or low 70’s, so I can start getting some walking or biking in.

Well, I guess I’d better get some cleaning done. Fun times! Take care now, y’hear?!

I think I can almost smell fall...

Only two more weeks until fall is officially here! If you hadn't noticed, autumn is my favorite time of year. I pretty much love everything about it (except for the inevitable allergies that it aggravates). The temps are beginning to moderate a little, which gives hope for actual cooler weather in the near future. I absolutely love the cool nights! Even though I haven't camped in years, I get the itch as the nights start to get chilly. Nothing quite like sitting around a campfire on a cool fall evening!

The leaves will soon begin to start changing colors. I recently bought a t-shirt that says "My favorite color is fall". I have always loved the russet tones, along with the vivid reds and golds and oranges that fall ushers in. I love seeing pumpkins and leaf decorations everywhere.

Of course, this fall will be even extra special with a wedding in the mountains of New Mexico! I know that it will be beautiful. We are all hoping for pleasant weather for the occasion.

One of the benefits of cooler weather is the ability to start baking more. I have baked more than usual this summer, since I started doing my sourdough. But I really hate to run my oven that much when the outside heat is already taxing our A/C. But as cooler temperatures arrive, it is a pleasure to crank up the oven and bake something that fills the house with delightful aromas. Nam has been after me for weeks to make some snickerdoodles. I kept putting him off, telling him that I needed to wait for cooler weather to bake them. I finally decided that I had made him wait long enough and baked up a double batch last Friday. Sheila and Matt had invited us over for supper, so I decided to bring them along for dessert. Nam wasn't the only one who enjoyed them!

Speaking of supper at Sheila's...she and Matt have gotten into cooking meat by the sous vide method. They fixed venison roasts Friday night for us. It was EXCELLENT! The meat is so tender and flavorful! I've never really liked using venison for roasts, because it is usually so dry, but this changed my mind. I may have to get into sous vide cooking!

I finally broke down last week and ordered an Instant Pot. (Thanks, Crystal, for sharing about the sale!) It came in yesterday, and I just happened to have a chicken that I planned to cook for supper. I cooked it on the slow cooker function, which worked good, but I didn't have enough time for the chicken to fully cook. So I pressure cooked it for a few minutes and it turned out perfectly! I'm looking forward to trying out all of the different things that can be done with the pot. Sherry has been talking about how good it is for making yogurt. I plan to try that out later this week.

Dad continues to regress a bit from his little spurt of energy after the funeral. He has really been struggling with time...he never knows what day it is or even what time of day it is. I bought him a day-at-a-glance calendar that I'm hoping will at least help him with the day of the week. He's been missing bingo lately, because he doesn't realize that it is the day to go. His ability to think and react has really been compromised, too. You never know what he's going to do. Yesterday morning, during the lesson at church, he got up and headed outside. Jamie got our attention, and Dennis and I hurried out after him to see what was wrong. He was just going to the car, because he was looking for a Kleenex. We got our travel tissues from the car and gave them to him and sent him back inside. I guess I need to buy him a box to keep beside him on the pew (even though he carries handkerchiefs in his pocket all of the time). I may have to move to the back pew, so that I can keep an eye on him!

We took Dad to Braum's for lunch yesterday. Going out to eat is getting to be more challenging all the time. He is just too confused to handle making decisions. I usually end up having to step in and order for him. He tries to order more food than he can eat, because he wants to carry leftovers back to keep in his refrigerator. That was a disaster back at Brookdale! They kept their little fridge full of takeout and leftovers...for weeks! We had told him he couldn't do that with this little fridge. That doesn't stop him from trying though. I'm constantly having to clean it out (with help from the housekeeping staff) because of the drinks and food items that he brings back from the dining room every day. Once a hoarder....Plus I can't take my eyes off of him for a minute. He tried to sit at a booth yesterday that had other people's personal items lying on the table. (But it was the same booth that we sat in the last time we were there.) It is really taking me a long time to truly realize how much supervision that he needs. In my heart, I keep hoping that he'll "get better" and act on that hope. In reality, he's not going to get better...only worse. I hope that I can eventually be at peace with his condition. I'm not there yet. There are still many days that I barely make it to the car before the tears come.

Dennis has been wanting to get a good, cheap 4-wheeler to use for his hunting (and hauling corn to his feeders). He's always just walked and used a dolly-type deer hauler, but his age is making that more difficult now. He finally found a great deal and brought one home on Friday. He is having to fix it up a little (it is 23 years old), but it should take care of his needs for the rest of his deer-hunting career.

Well, I need to get started with my chores. I hope this week treats you all well.

Settling into a new norm/Labor Day 2019

Last week was busy and productive. It was so nice to have the time to do what I needed and/or wanted to. I emptied my pantry, and Dennis put in the final (top) shelf. Then I went through everything and threw out things that were out of date. I put everything back in (I hope) a more efficient order. I’m still having to learn where everything is. I think it will be better once I get used to everything’s new position.

I also emptied out my dining room storage closet. I had never really organized it to begin with…just added stuff where it would fit when we were remodeling. I thinned out a lot of stuff that I never use anymore and either gave it away or threw it out. I went through all of my recipe cards and consolidated (after throwing out a bunch of unused ones) them all in one card file (instead of four!). I got rid of the last of my shaped cake pans and cake stands. I was able to fit everything back in a much more orderly manner. I still have some old flower vases to get rid of, but I plan to take them to a local flower shop this week to see if they will take them. I think I will tackle my spice drawer this week!

One day, I defrosted Dad’s freezer in his mini-fridge. He likes to turn it all the way up, which causes the freezer section to ice up. My hair dryer made short work of the defrosting operation, and I got everything cleaned up. I have to clean the cups out of it every day or two. Dad’s hoarding instinct is primarily directed at cups of water and milk these days. He will bring one of each back from each meal and adds them to the others from all of the other meals in the fridge. One day I removed about a dozen and returned them to the kitchen. I left him several in there, so the next day I had to remove another half dozen or so. I’ve told the kitchen staff that anytime they run short, just go check his little fridge!

Dad did pretty good all week. He participated in the activities at the home and even made the Fox 4 news! He really got a kick out of that. When I showed him the picture on my phone, he told me to get him a print made for his wall. Thanks to same day photo processing, I had it hung the next day. Some days he was pretty talkative (for him); others, he seemed down…which makes sense, seeing as he is still grieving. His memory seems to be getting worse, but he is more alert than he had been. I guess he is getting into his new norm. He seems pretty comfortable with the way things are. We took him to Haslet today. I figured he would really enjoy seeing everyone. He would smile when folks spoke to him and hugged him, but he didn’t really interact with anyone. He ate a big plate of food at lunch, plus a big plate of desserts! After eating, he played a little solitaire and then went to sit by the door. I asked him if he was ready to go home, and he said he was. So we gathered up our things and took him back to the home. He seems to have lost all of his understanding of social norms. He just does what he wants to do and doesn’t consider how it affects anyone else. We are constantly picking up after him. He is constantly wiping his nose with a tissue and then just dropping it wherever he is. We have to keep an eye on him to try to keep him out of trouble. Everyone at Haslet was really good at helping out today. All of the ladies would try to wait on him and take care of his trash. Then Ed D. “babysat” him when he went towards the door…making sure he didn’t wander off or do something that might get him hurt. After a little incident on our way back home, Dennis and I decided we don’t need to take him out anymore except for short jaunts to church or Braum’s. You just never know what he might do. When we got back to his room, I asked if he had enjoyed the day, and he was noncommittal, so I’m not even sure he gets any benefit from outings. He seems to prefer just being in his room watching tv.

Dennis and I spent all day in Haslet yesterday for the Labor Day Weekend get-together. We always really enjoy our time visiting with everyone and enjoying the activities. Of course, there is always WAY too much food and goodies. Kay always like to have some little special something planned. This year it was ice cream floats. YUM! There were makings for all sorts of embellished and flavored floats, but I opted for an old fashioned root beer one. We really appreciate all of the hard work that goes into the weekend! We’ve been enjoying them for 20 years!

We brought Nam home with us today, since he doesn’t have school tomorrow. His mom will pick him up in the morning. We enjoyed our conversation coming home. I love our talks with that kid! Then just as we were pulling into MW, he fell asleep! Wouldn’t you know it?! But since we had to take Dad home (which is on the far west side of town), he was able to get in a pretty good nap. Dennis stayed in the car with the a/c on, while I took Dad in and got him settled. Nam continued to sleep until we pulled up in the driveway and Dennis got him out of his seat. He and Grandad have played some, we went to McDonald’s for supper, and now we are watching “Lady and the Tramp” before bedtime, then we’ll get up to pancakes in the morning…our little sleep-over tradition.

I have another “free” week this week. I’m hoping to meet with Dad’s new doctor on Tuesday when he makes his rounds. I also have to reserve a room at a restaurant in Ruidoso for the rehearsal dinner on Oct. 3. It’s hard to believe the wedding is just a month away!

I hope I can accomplish as much this coming week as I did last week. I’m enjoying having time to do more around the house. I’ve neglected it for far too long! We don’t plan to start back on any remodeling until after the wedding and our meeting in October. By then it will be hunting season, so we may not get much done until the first of the year! We want to finish the living room (mostly painting and a little remodeling of the “entertainment area”), and then redo the hall bathroom. We will also fix up our spare bedroom into a second guest room. I’m wanting to fix it up for the grandkids. I still have to figure out how I want to do it though. We’ll save our bedroom for last, because it will be a pretty involved remodel. The last thing will be laying the carpet throughout the living room, hall and master bedroom. I HOPE that we can get it all done sometime in 2020.

Well, I hope you all stay safe in this coming week!

A Fun Week!

We had a very different week than usual this past week. Dad was getting along fine, so we “seized the day” and took a short trip to West, TX. I didn’t actually pay attention to where, exactly, we were staying when I made the reservation. I just picked a hotel that looked nice and was reasonably priced in the Waco area. It turned out to be a bit serendipitous.


We left Tuesday morning after checking on Dad one last time and telling him we would be gone a couple of days. Then we drove to Waco and went through the Dr. Pepper Museum. It was a fun and interesting place to visit. You get a voucher for a free DP at the end of your tour…or you could trade it in for $1 off any other treat. Believe me, they knew what they were doing when they made that offer. Pretty much everyone traded up for a DP float! Even with the discount, they were NOT cheap. But they were definitely delicious! They were made from a real old-fashioned soda fountain…where the syrup is added to the ice cream and then the soda water is added. Our soda jerk was quite experienced, and it was fun just to watch him work his magic. That was, by far, the best float that I’d ever had!


By time we left the museum, and drove back to West, it was time to check into our hotel. I was a little nervous when we got there. The reviews had been great, and the hotel looked very nice from the outside. Once we entered, though, we saw that they were in the middle of renovating it. AND the internet was down during our check-in, which caused some issues. They did grant our request for a top floor room at the end of the hall (which is usually the quietest area…Dennis is a very light sleeper and hates to get awakened by people stomping over his head). When we opened the door to our room, the A/C hadn’t been turned on and it was HOT! But the room was very nice, so we cranked the A/C down and it eventually cooled off just fine. I looked up restaurants in the area and there was a place in West (which is a TINY town) that had great reviews for their steaks. I thought that sounded good, so we decided to try them out. Dennis has been disappointed too many times ordering steak, so he just got chicken tenders, but I went for the sirloin. It was about 2-3” thick, tender, and cooked perfectly! Dennis was sad that he had opted for chicken. We enjoyed the restaurant so much that we returned on Wednesday night and tried some other options. Everything was good, the service was great, and the prices were very reasonable! If you are ever looking for a good place to stop on the north side of Waco, try out the West Station Roadhouse. You won’t be sorry!


When we got back to our room, Dennis allowed me to take the first shower. Another problem! Whoever had installed the shower control had done it wrong, and you couldn’t turn it to hot. So I ended up taking a very quick, cool shower and Dennis opted for a sponge bath! We told the hotel clerk about it at breakfast the next morning and they had it fixed the next day when we returned from our adventures. They were extremely apologetic, too! Other than those little glitches, it was a very comfortable place to stay. The best thing about it was that it was right next door to Slovacek’s and just across the highway from the Czech Stop and Bakery. I didn’t realize that this little town was the Czech (and kolache) capital of Texas. So, of course, we had to do our own taste test to see which was better. Slovacek’s won out! For a savory, I went with their jalapeno popper kolache. It was SO good! For sweet, I tried the plain cream cheese kolache. Delicious! I love checking out the local (food) culture!


We spent the day Wednesday touring the Homestead Heritage. I’ve heard about it for decades, so we decided to check it out. We were both glad we did! The craftsmanship of all of their products that they make and sell is exceptional…plus you get to watch them do a lot of it. We visited with the craftsmen as they worked and got some interesting tips and history in the process. We had lunch at their café, where everything is cooked from scratch using the foods that they grew or raised on the farm. The sandwiches and burgers were served on homemade breads, the vegetables and herbs were grown on site, and even the condiments were made there in their community. It was absolutely delicious! We visited the cheese house and cave and were allowed free samples. Dennis thoroughly enjoyed visiting with the carpenter in the woodshop. I especially loved watching the potters at work and seeing the beautiful pieces they had for sale. We had a wonderful history lesson in the 200+ year old gristmill (and I couldn’t resist purchasing some of their freshly stoneground flour and blue cornmeal). We also had a good visit while watching the blacksmith at work. We were amazed at the craftsmanship of the spinners and weavers at work. Plus we spent a long time just walking through the various shops where all of the goods were on sale and admiring the beauty of the artisanship. I would loved to have purchased a LOT of their work, but the prices reflected the time and work invested in each piece, so it was all a bit out of my reach. I ended up just buying some food items and a couple of gifts for upcoming birthdays.


We made it back home around noon on Thursday and went to check on Dad after grabbing some lunch. He did fine while we were gone, and had even participated in some watermelon fun in our absence. I am so happy to see him doing better. Bobbie’s failing health and death just totally overwhelmed him, and I was beginning to fear that his “fog” might be permanent. He has snapped back quite a bit over the past couple of weeks. Of course, he still suffers from memory loss and confusion, but he has some life back in his eyes and his mannerisms. He went out to eat with a group of us today after the morning assembly, and thoroughly enjoyed himself! Since Bobbie died, he has (I guess) decided not to worry about his diet anymore. I think he was trying to stay healthy so he could take care of her. Now he is eating WHATEVER he wants! At 89 years of age, I’m not going to interfere with him either. At best, his time left on this earth is very limited, so he may as well enjoy what time he has left (even if it means eating almost a half a bottle of honey with his tortillas!).


Sheila and Matt and the boys (except Ian, who had to work) came for supper Friday night. Yesterday was Matt’s birthday, so I wanted to cook something really nice. I made jambalaya and made some artisan bread  using the whole wheat flour that I had brought back from our trip. Then I served baked peaches with ice cream for dessert. He and Caleb were very lavish with their praise. (Have I mentioned how much I love to cook for those two guys?!) Nam had just finished his first week of kindergarten and had done very well. He was pretty tired though! There’s a big difference between 5 days of full-day school and the 3 half-days that he went to for pre-school last year. We are planning another sleepover next Sunday night, since he is off on Labor Day.


Yesterday was Amber and Rick’s shower thrown by the Highway church. Everyone had been instructed to bring one thing for Amber and one for Rick, so they got a LOT of great stuff! I think they both have everything they need now, plus a whole lot more! We all had a great time, too!


I have absolutely nothing planned this week (other than normal stuff) until the weekend, when we’ll be going to the Labor Day Gathering in Haslet. I’m hoping to start doing some organizing and cleaning in my pantry and closets. I’ll be spending all day Friday doing food prep and cooking for the weekend. But that leaves me four whole days to do whatever I feel up to tackling (other than my daily trips to check on Dad). I can’t remember when I’ve had the free time to spend on reorganizing. I’m actually looking forward to it!


I hope your week goes well and that you can spend some time doing what you want or need to do!
Ec 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going. (NKJV)

Lots of Family Time!

Dad has pretty much settled into his new routine and is quite a bit better than he has been during the past few weeks. I’ve discussed it with different ones at the nursing home, and we all think it is because he can finally relax and not worry about Bobbie anymore. He will (sometimes) actually have a conversation, of sorts, with us. We got him a little mini-fridge for his room last week, which he really enjoys having. This morning, I took him to Walmart for some new clothes and a few snacks…at his request. So he is definitely taking more of an interest in things again. He attended the monthly potluck, yesterday, with Dennis. I found out that he will be able to stay in the same room, which he REALLY wanted to do. He has more room to move around with just one bed and chair in there. He has taped condolence cards and a few of his birthday cards (from May) to his walls, so he can look at them all the time. He has finally gotten to where he likes his bed. It is a special air mattress that is designed to prevent (and help in the healing of) pressure sores. He adds his own extra padding to it, too. Since he has started using it, rather than sitting in his chair 24/7, two of his three sores have healed over; and the third one is almost healed. It looks like we may have some better days ahead for awhile.

Nam came for a sleepover last Wednesday. We had lettuce wraps and fried rice, which he loved! (He informed me that he likes Asian food better than Mexican!) We then watched "Tangled". We always have to do a movie when we have a sleepover...plus pancakes for breakfast! He slept the best that he ever has at our house. We ended up having to wake him up around 7:30 to eat breakfast! He usually would start waking up around 5 and be up by 6:00. I had to take him to meet up with his mom and dad around 9, so he could go for his last shot before starting school. We also kept him Friday for the last time before starting school. He kept asking me if he would still be able to see us after he started school. I assured him that we would keep in touch.

We had supper with Sheila and Matt Saturday night. Diane B was also a guest. They cooked a great supper of venison and chicken street tacos! Matt even made homemade flour tortillas. After eating, Dennis went to Nam’s room to play with him while the rest of us played Apples to Apples. It was Diane’s first time to play. She assured us it wouldn’t be her last!

Yesterday, I spent the day with the Haslet congregation. They threw a shower for Amber and Ricky that evening at David and Candice’s new house. It was SO much fun! Stephen and Mandy’s family drove over for the festivities, too. It is always nice to have some extra time with my kiddos. The boys were busy playing with Luke, but we had a lot of fun with little Miss Gracie! We played several hilarious games with Amber and Ricky being the focal point. Everyone had a great time. We also had some scrumptious food to eat! The kids got some very nice gifts, too.

Candice did a beautiful job with the decorations!

Family!

Fun games

Dennis and I are planning a little get-away for a couple of days. We are leaving tomorrow morning, after checking in on Dad, and going to spend a couple of nights in Waco. I have been wanting to visit the Homestead Heritage place down there, so when Dennis suggested a short trip, I recommended it for a destination. More than anything, we are just wanting to get away to relax for a short spell. Dad should be fine for 48 hours, and we will only be a couple of hours away…just in case. We are both really looking forward to it! I’m hoping it won’t be too hot to enjoy the Homestead attractions.

Take care and keep cool!

The End of Another Chapter

We are home, safe and sound! It was a grueling day to finish out a grueling week. By this time last week, we could tell that it was a matter of days before Bobbie would pass. Tuesday morning, she was in a very agitated state, although she wasn’t very aware of what was going on. She mumbled over and over again that she wanted or needed something. Finally I could make out that she was calling for Daddy, so I had him come sit and comfort her. She would settle down when she could see or hear him, although she would still holler out in pain. Hospice upped her pain meds, and that evening, when we went back, she was sleeping peacefully. We figured that she probably wouldn’t make it through the night, because her respiration rate was so very slow…only 4-6 breaths per minute. Sure enough, Tonette called at 3:30 to tell me that she had passed.

Wednesday was filled with phone calls and messages…making notifications and arrangements. Daddy wanted to go to Brookdale to tell everyone over there, so we went that morning. Everyone was so glad to see him, but so sorry to hear about Bobbie. Thursday was filled up going to the funeral home to make the actual arrangements. Daddy wanted to get a good shave, so I took him to the barber Friday morning. The girl who shaved him was so kind and gentle with him! I think he may have dozed off a time or two during the process…especially during the hot towel wrap.

There was a really good turnout for the funeral on Saturday. It meant so much to the family to see everyone take the time and effort to show up. Daddy’s cousin, Barbara (who is more like a little sister to him), and her husband, Milton, drove all the way from Alabama to attend…and they aren’t any spring chickens! That really was good for Daddy to see them. They spent the night and went to church with us Sunday morning and ate lunch with us. Daddy showed more animation and talked more to them than I’ve seen him do in weeks. Ken and Kelli also drove down from Harrison for the funeral. Their unselfish generosity in traveling so far for so many is quite an example! It was also great to have all of my kids and grandkids there. We all (including Dad) went out to eat supper afterwards. Daddy ended up sitting next to Gracie, and he and she played a little bit with each other. Daddy has always loved babies!

The drive to Spur and back today was tough. We left the nursing home at 5:55 this morning and got Daddy back about 3:45 this afternoon. He was awake all morning on the drive out, but he slept most of the way home. He was finally able to relax. The crowd was fairly small at the cemetery, which is what we expected. I was really glad to see Tommy and Jean P show up. Daddy hadn’t seen them in several years. He didn’t really interact with anyone though. Everyone kept asking if he knew what was going on, because he seemed so spaced out. He definitely does know what has happened. I’m just not sure he recognized everyone that spoke to him. He said he did, but he didn’t respond like he did.

I do have one funny story from the weekend. At the visitation on Saturday, my brother and sister-in-law hadn’t eaten yet, so they were going to go grab some lunch. Rodney explained to Daddy what they were doing and asked if he needed anything. He just sat there with kind of a lost look on his face, so they eventually left. About 2 or 3 minutes later, he turned to me and said, “I need sherbet.” I didn’t quite follow, so I questioned him about it. He said, “Everyone keeps asking me if I need or want anything, and I want some sherbet!” Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to go find him some sherbet. But we made up for it yesterday and today both by getting him a strawberry milkshake both days!

I want to thank everyone who took time out of their busy schedules to reach out to Daddy and the family during this whole ordeal! We all really appreciated everything:  cards, phone calls and messages, flowers, visits, food, etc. I especially want to thank you all for your prayers. Bobbie suffered a lot during those last couple of weeks. Even Daddy was relieved to see it end. He is going to be very lonely and heartbroken, but he no longer has to sit and watch the life fade out of his sweetheart. I’m not sure what to expect in the coming weeks with Daddy. It could go either way…either improve a bit from not worrying about Bobbie anymore, or spiraling down in depression and grief. Please remember to say a prayer for him from time to time.

"We are going down the valley one by one"

Ps 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

 This verse has been on my mind all day. Bobbie is currently going through the valley, and the way is grueling. Her decline is noticeable daily. Last Friday, I decided that we needed to talk to Dad to prepare him for what is coming. He was sad, but not surprised. He said he’d been hoping that she didn’t have much longer. Having a front seat to her suffering 24/7 has really been taking its tole on him.

Death is cruel. God didn’t design man to die. It was Satan’s influence that caused man and woman to sin, which brought about the curse of death. Ever since, people have had to suffer the pangs associated with physical loss of life. Dying isn’t easy. The fleshly body fights to stay alive, even when the mind and soul are ready for release. It can take a long time unless disease or violence hurries the process along. The physical desire and need for food and water decrease until they stop completely. As calorie intake decreases, the body begins to feed on itself and wastes away. The body begins to shut down. The organs weaken and eventually quit working. The process can take days, weeks or even months.

Bobbie has entered this final phase. She is rapidly losing weight…7 pounds over the past week; 10 pounds, the week before. Her desire for food is gone and her inability to swallow makes eating and drinking impossible. She sleeps most of the time, but it isn’t a peaceful sleep. She mumbles constantly. Most of what I hear is “I need, I need, I need, I need…..” She will sometimes respond when spoken to, but not always. She can’t really formulate an answer to questions. She is suffering, but there isn’t much that can be done to ease that. She is longing for rest and peace…which is what we are all praying for her to finally find.

Daddy is also getting weaker and less coherent. It was a real struggle for him to go to church yesterday. I’m not sure how much longer he will be able to continue. It is his desire to be there every Sunday morning, so we are making it possible as long as we can. He finally relented and allowed the home to bring in a bed for him yesterday. He has mostly been sleeping in his chair for years. He’s been having trouble getting comfortable lately, and he has developed a couple of pressure sores from sitting 24/7, so we decided he had to start sleeping in a bed. It is an adjustment, as it was for Bobbie. They both have refused to sleep in a bed for at least a year. Back issues make it uncomfortable. I’m hoping we can find the “magic formula” for getting it to where he can rest well. He did say that he slept good last night in it. That’s a good start.

Even though Daddy isn’t as far along on his “walk through the valley” as Bobbie, he is definitely on his way. I don’t know what to expect when she passes. He may revive for a bit from not worrying about her, or he may go into a tailspin from grief. He told us he thinks he “can bear it.” We plan to keep him in a private room after Bobbie is gone. If he later decides he would rather have a roommate, we’ll look into it. But I think he’ll probably want his privacy from here on. He has lost his sociability that marked his personality for most of his life. He finds it hard to focus on conversation, and his memory (even his long-term) is unreliable. When people visit, he just sits there silently; and if mealtime or bingo time comes around, he’ll just get up and walk away. Then he doesn’t remember that he had a visitor at all.

The comfort in all of this is that death isn’t the end. It doesn’t win. We are assured that “the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23) “For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive…For He must reign till He has put all enemies under His feet. The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.” (1Co 15:22) 

So even though we must pass through the valley (unless we are still alive at the return of Jesus), we have an assurance that we can live forever because of Jesus’ sacrifice. The journey is difficult, but the final destination is glorious.

This and that

Had a great week last week! Daddy’s trip to the nephrologist went very well. His kidney function is holding steady in the 50’s (which is still considered kidney disease, but much better than in the 30’s where it has been!). The increased Lasix is doing a great job of keeping the fluid off of him. His legs are about normal size now…first time in years. He could probably do without the oxygen now. The last couple of times they checked it while he wasn’t wearing it, it was in the mid-to-upper 90’s. Bobbie is just getting weaker and weaker. Yesterday was a good day though. I got her out of bed and took her to look at the birds in the aviary and then sit outside on the porch for a little while. She was able to hold her head up for a good while during all of that. By the time we got back to the room, she was worn out and ready to get back in bed. She is depressed over Wallace’s death and her own health, which is understandable. She wants to get up and do things, but she just isn’t able. I know she is either in pain or discomfort most of the time, too. It is hard to know how to help her! She is no longer strong enough to make it to church services anymore, which she is very upset about. Daddy has decided to stay with her, because he is nervous about leaving her “alone”. She really gets upset with us for not taking her, but there is no way she could manage being up that long at this point. Getting her in and out of bed requires assistance. We would have to literally pick her up to put her in our vehicle! She recognized a few weeks ago that she was too weak to continue going, but she forgets.

Jensen spent a couple of nights last week with us. He and Dennis spent hours back in the den talking and studying. We enjoyed his visit! It was nice to have an excuse to buy ice cream, too!

Sheila took me out for lunch on Thursday for my birthday. Nam asked her that morning where we were going to eat. Sheila told him it was my choice. He told her, “Well, you know she really likes chicken!” Ha! Instead of chicken, we went to a Vietnamese restaurant, and I got a bowl of pho. It was delicious! (We went to Golden Chick that night for supper!) Afterwards we went and got a pedicure, then had some gourmet popsicles for a little treat. By then, it was close to time to pick up Nam from museum school. I brought him home to spend the night with us. We sure enjoyed having him over again. We’ve really missed him this summer with all of his summer classes. We will have him a couple of days a week for the next two weeks, and then it will be time for school to start. We are looking forward to “being retired” again, but we sure do miss that little guy when he’s not around.

Sean G, from Vian, was our guest speaker this past Sunday. We had our potluck over at Layne and Heather’s. We really enjoyed the day! I had never spent any time with Sean and Ashley before then. They are a really sweet couple, and their little girls are adorable! They were able to stay over until Monday (at the Pettits’), so we all ate out together Sunday night to extend our visit a little longer.

Andy and Sherry had come over Sunday for the day and had some car troubles while here. We had them come over after supper, so Dennis and Andy could work on the car to make sure it was safe to drive home. They finally got it driveable around 10:00. I felt sorry for them, but Sherry and I enjoyed our visit. We hope to take a little trip together sometime in the not-too-distant future. We are wanting to ride the train to Alpine and spend a few days exploring the area. It ought to be a blast!

My cousin, Gwen, had major back surgery on Tuesday, which lasted about 9 hours! Anita, her sister, has been staying over in Arlington with her. She has done remarkably well since the surgery! She is hoping to come home today, but the last time I heard, the doctor still hadn’t been by. Please remember her in your prayers as she recovers from such an extensive surgery! Hopefully she will be pain-free eventually and recover from some of the nerve damage in her feet and legs.

We are leaving in the morning to spend the night at Stephen and Mandy’s. I told them they could have a night out, and we would keep the kiddos. This will be our first time alone with Gracie. I’m really looking forward to it! I imagine Dennis will do a little fishing with the boys. 

I'm still enjoying my sourdough! I made hamburger buns from it yesterday, and they were delicious. The only thing that I've tried that I didn't like was sourdough pancakes. Poor Jensen was my guinea pig, but he didn't complain. I didn't care for them at all though. Everything else that I've tried has been really good. I especially like it for pizza crust!

Well, that’s what has been going on around here. I hope all is going well where you are! (Isn’t this little cool front WONDERFUL!)

Update on the folks

I want to thank everyone who reached out to me after my last few posts! I was surprised at the people who told me that they understood what I was going through and felt the same way. Even though I know that many of us are facing similar circumstances at this point in our lives, I guess I didn’t realize that my feelings weren’t all that unusual. From the outside, it can look like someone “has it all together”, even though they are struggling on the inside. It really helps knowing that others are sympathetic to my situation and understand my struggles. It also helps to know that someone besides myself is getting some benefit from my scribbles.

The folks are both continuing to decline. Bobbie is now on hospice. She still isn’t eating enough to keep a bird alive, and she is having trouble swallowing. Sometimes she does ok…other times she can’t swallow her medications. I think the nursing home will try to crush what they can and perhaps hospice can provide liquid meds for some of the others. Bobbie hates being in bed now! It is definitely helping her rest though…as well as Daddy. She was waking him up several times a night when she slid down in her chair, and he would have to call for someone to come help. I don’t know how the bed could be more uncomfortable than the position she was usually in while sitting in her recliner, but she says it is. One thing that makes it difficult is that she can’t work the controls to adjust it to her satisfaction. Someone else has to do it and go by when she says it is ok or not. She is very sad over the death of Wallace and really misses her only remaining brother. That also frustrates her, and can come out as anger. Her short-term memory is really poor, so she gets upset about decisions that she helped make, because she thinks people just are being mean and not allowing her to do things. I try to patiently explain that she is just too weak to get out and go any more. I sympathize with her situation and assure her that everyone is just trying to do what is best for her. It seems to help short-term, but then she forgets and gets upset all over again.  It really is sad!

Daddy’s physical health is pretty stable right now, but his mental health is really declining. He can no longer operate his cell phone, which has been one of his last means of independence. He now has to have the nursing home call me when he wants to tell me something. He has also developed the propensity to take things from wherever he is. I think it is the “hoarder instinct” that he has always had kicking into overdrive. He fills his walker basket with silverware, napkins, straws, tissues, crackers, leftover food or whatever else happens to be within reach. He pilfered a blanket from someone at church yesterday morning. I managed to restrain him from taking it into the nursing home and washed and returned it to the church house. I really don’t think he realizes that he is taking things he shouldn’t. It seems to be more of a “reflex”. He is getting much more docile. That might seem to be a good thing, but it is just means that he is losing his ability to think. He mostly just responds to instruction. He seemed a little more alert this morning when I visited. He wanted some snapshots taped up on their wall, so they can look at them all the time. That is the most interest that he’s shown about anything in a while. It is hard to know if his rapid decline is the normal progression of his aging process, or if it is trauma induced from all of the changes that he’s been through lately, or if it is something else. Whatever is causing it, it has been brutal to watch. I take him to his nephrologist in the morning. It will be interesting to see what his bloodwork has to show. His edema has improved GREATLY since they upped his Lasix! But that can be hard on kidneys, so the doctor may want to cut back again. There is a correlation between kidney failure and dementia. It is such a delicate balancing act at this stage of life!

On a brighter note, Sheila’s family came over Friday night for our Mexican feast. Everyone loved the tamales! They turned out better than I thought they would, but next time, I plan to use a different technique to make them. Matt has been around a lot of tamale making parties when he lived in the valley, and he said using a tortilla press is the way to go! We really enjoyed our visit with them, and Nam was very excited to be back. We are having to find ways to get together with him while he’s in zoo camp. We had already arranged to keep him this coming Friday, since he won’t be going to class. We decided to have a sleepover on Thursday night to extend our time a bit more. Sheila is taking me out for lunch on Thursday, so we can pick him up from school together and I can bring him home with me. I think Grandad and I miss him as much as he misses us! We’ve been an almost daily part of each other’s lives for the past 20 months! That has to change with his new living circumstances and beginning kindergarten, but it will definitely take some time to adjust for all of us.

We plan to go see our other grandkids next weekend. We sure are looking forward to seeing them again. It has been almost 2 months since our last visit! Boy, time sure does get away from you! Gracie is at the age where she is changing SO MUCH in between visits. Stephen and Mandy are really good at sending us pictures and videos, though, to try to keep us up to date.

Well, my laundry is beckoning so I’d better go. The weather is supposed to turn very hot this week, so please be careful outdoors! Give someone a hug and let them know you love them. You never know when you may not have another opportunity.

Joy and Sadness

If you happen to see me with tears in my eyes, don’t worry about me. I’m not depressed. I’m not overwhelmed. I’m not hopeless. I’m just sad. It’s ok to be sad at times. It’s needful to be sad at times. And there are things going right now that are worth being sad about. So if you see me on the verge of crying, just smile or give me a hug, and don’t get upset if the tears get worse. That’s just the way I’m made.

Even though there are some really sad things going on right now, life is good. We greatly enjoyed our trip to the summer meeting last week in Tahlequah. ("TAHLEQUAH?!") We were able to be there from Wed-Friday night. We enjoyed the lessons, the fellowship, the singing, but mostly the opportunity to worship and praise God with so many of our loved ones. Daddy and Bobbie made it ok at home while we were gone. I only got one phone call from Dad on Friday, because he couldn’t remember when we were coming home and was concerned about how he was going to get to church on Sunday morning. I assured him we’d be home by then, and he was fine.

We dropped by to see Nam and family on our way home Saturday afternoon. We hadn’t seen him since Sunday afternoon. We stayed for maybe 30 minutes and then headed home. Later that evening, we got a phone call from him asking if we could maybe get together for dinner some night. It’s going to take some getting used to not having him around every week (for all of us!). But for now, we have plans for their family to come over Friday night for supper.

Bobbie is no longer able to attend church services. Her strength is fading away. I think she will probably be confined to a wheelchair or bed from here on out. She’s been sleeping in her recliner (they both do), but she can no longer pull herself up in the chair. She just sorta melts down into the seat and gets stuck. So they are supposed to be getting her a bed today. Daddy is doing ok physically, but either depression or continued mental deterioration has him rather numb. He has trouble communicating and his short-term memory is very unreliable. He only seems interested in eating and playing bingo…and hoarding. You never know what you’ll find in his walker storage! Watching the two of them fade is so difficult.

We made it out to Wallace’s funeral and burial yesterday. It doesn’t seem right that his smile and teasing are no longer in this world. He was such a sweet…and ornery old guy! I don’t think he ever met anyone that he didn’t like or that didn’t like him. He is really going to be missed!

I have discovered the delights of sourdough! I watched a documentary talking about the advantages of fermented foods (including sourdough), so I decided to begin a starter. It took about 10 days for it to really start “ginning”. I found some recipes that use the “discard” during the process, so we enjoyed some sourdough soft pretzels, sourdough pizza dough and some sourdough whole wheat crackers. I was finally able to make some bread from the ripe starter last week. It is great for sandwiches, and I have noticed a difference. I normally have heartburn after eating regular bread products, especially at night, but I haven’t suffered from it since using the sourdough. Tonight I made chicken and dumplings using a recipe for sourdough biscuits, and still no heartburn. I found a lot of recipes on the King Arthur Flour website, so I’m doing a lot of experimenting!

I’m going to try something else new this week. I’ve always (or at least for the past 45 years) wanted to make tamales, but I’ve always been too nervous to try it on my own. I’m planning a Mexican feast for Friday night when Sheila’s bunch and Rick and Amber are here, so I decided to include tamales on the menu. I found a recipe for chicken, green chili and cheese tamales that sounds delicious, so I plan to make them up Thursday. (Wish me luck!) Then Friday, I’m making deer enchiladas, refried beans, yellow rice, white queso and guacamole. I love feeding folks…especially my family…and the more, the merrier!

For those that we saw at the meeting and funeral, it was great to see you and catch up! I love being able to visit with old friends and make new ones. Thanks to the Spunky Creek church for all of their hard work in putting the meeting together and hosting it! To the Young family, my heart hurts for you all! I know there is a peace in knowing that Wallace’s suffering is over, but how he will be missed! To all, I hope there is more joy in your days than sadness. Love you all!