We are home, safe and sound! It was a grueling day to finish
out a grueling week. By this time last week, we could tell that it was a matter
of days before Bobbie would pass. Tuesday morning, she was in a very agitated
state, although she wasn’t very aware of what was going on. She mumbled over
and over again that she wanted or needed something. Finally I could make out
that she was calling for Daddy, so I had him come sit and comfort her. She
would settle down when she could see or hear him, although she would still
holler out in pain. Hospice upped her pain meds, and that evening, when we went
back, she was sleeping peacefully. We figured that she probably wouldn’t make
it through the night, because her respiration rate was so very slow…only 4-6
breaths per minute. Sure enough, Tonette called at 3:30 to tell me that she had
passed.
Wednesday was filled with phone calls and messages…making
notifications and arrangements. Daddy wanted to go to Brookdale to tell
everyone over there, so we went that morning. Everyone was so glad to see him,
but so sorry to hear about Bobbie. Thursday was filled up going to the funeral
home to make the actual arrangements. Daddy wanted to get a good shave, so I
took him to the barber Friday morning. The girl who shaved him was so kind and
gentle with him! I think he may have dozed off a time or two during the process…especially
during the hot towel wrap.
There was a really good turnout for the funeral on Saturday.
It meant so much to the family to see everyone take the time and effort to show
up. Daddy’s cousin, Barbara (who is more like a little sister to him), and her
husband, Milton, drove all the way from Alabama to attend…and they aren’t any
spring chickens! That really was good for Daddy to see them. They spent the
night and went to church with us Sunday morning and ate lunch with us. Daddy
showed more animation and talked more to them than I’ve seen him do in weeks. Ken and Kelli also drove down from Harrison for the funeral. Their unselfish generosity in traveling so far for so many is quite an example! It was also great to have all of my kids and grandkids there. We all (including
Dad) went out to eat supper afterwards. Daddy ended up sitting next to Gracie,
and he and she played a little bit with each other. Daddy has always loved
babies!
The drive to Spur and back today was tough. We left the
nursing home at 5:55 this morning and got Daddy back about 3:45 this afternoon.
He was awake all morning on the drive out, but he slept most of the way home.
He was finally able to relax. The crowd was fairly small at the cemetery, which
is what we expected. I was really glad to see Tommy and Jean P show up. Daddy
hadn’t seen them in several years. He didn’t really interact with anyone
though. Everyone kept asking if he knew what was going on, because he seemed so
spaced out. He definitely does know what has happened. I’m just not sure he
recognized everyone that spoke to him. He said he did, but he didn’t respond
like he did.
I do have one funny story from the weekend. At the
visitation on Saturday, my brother and sister-in-law hadn’t eaten yet, so they
were going to go grab some lunch. Rodney explained to Daddy what they were
doing and asked if he needed anything. He just sat there with kind of a lost
look on his face, so they eventually left. About 2 or 3 minutes later, he
turned to me and said, “I need sherbet.” I didn’t quite follow, so I questioned
him about it. He said, “Everyone keeps asking me if I need or want anything, and
I want some sherbet!” Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to go find him some
sherbet. But we made up for it yesterday and today both by getting him a
strawberry milkshake both days!
I want to thank everyone who took time out of their busy
schedules to reach out to Daddy and the family during this whole ordeal! We all
really appreciated everything: cards,
phone calls and messages, flowers, visits, food, etc. I especially want to
thank you all for your prayers. Bobbie suffered a lot during those last couple
of weeks. Even Daddy was relieved to see it end. He is going to be very lonely
and heartbroken, but he no longer has to sit and watch the life fade out of his
sweetheart. I’m not sure what to expect in the coming weeks with Daddy. It
could go either way…either improve a bit from not worrying about Bobbie
anymore, or spiraling down in depression and grief. Please remember to say a
prayer for him from time to time.
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