"We are going down the valley one by one"

Ps 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

 This verse has been on my mind all day. Bobbie is currently going through the valley, and the way is grueling. Her decline is noticeable daily. Last Friday, I decided that we needed to talk to Dad to prepare him for what is coming. He was sad, but not surprised. He said he’d been hoping that she didn’t have much longer. Having a front seat to her suffering 24/7 has really been taking its tole on him.

Death is cruel. God didn’t design man to die. It was Satan’s influence that caused man and woman to sin, which brought about the curse of death. Ever since, people have had to suffer the pangs associated with physical loss of life. Dying isn’t easy. The fleshly body fights to stay alive, even when the mind and soul are ready for release. It can take a long time unless disease or violence hurries the process along. The physical desire and need for food and water decrease until they stop completely. As calorie intake decreases, the body begins to feed on itself and wastes away. The body begins to shut down. The organs weaken and eventually quit working. The process can take days, weeks or even months.

Bobbie has entered this final phase. She is rapidly losing weight…7 pounds over the past week; 10 pounds, the week before. Her desire for food is gone and her inability to swallow makes eating and drinking impossible. She sleeps most of the time, but it isn’t a peaceful sleep. She mumbles constantly. Most of what I hear is “I need, I need, I need, I need…..” She will sometimes respond when spoken to, but not always. She can’t really formulate an answer to questions. She is suffering, but there isn’t much that can be done to ease that. She is longing for rest and peace…which is what we are all praying for her to finally find.

Daddy is also getting weaker and less coherent. It was a real struggle for him to go to church yesterday. I’m not sure how much longer he will be able to continue. It is his desire to be there every Sunday morning, so we are making it possible as long as we can. He finally relented and allowed the home to bring in a bed for him yesterday. He has mostly been sleeping in his chair for years. He’s been having trouble getting comfortable lately, and he has developed a couple of pressure sores from sitting 24/7, so we decided he had to start sleeping in a bed. It is an adjustment, as it was for Bobbie. They both have refused to sleep in a bed for at least a year. Back issues make it uncomfortable. I’m hoping we can find the “magic formula” for getting it to where he can rest well. He did say that he slept good last night in it. That’s a good start.

Even though Daddy isn’t as far along on his “walk through the valley” as Bobbie, he is definitely on his way. I don’t know what to expect when she passes. He may revive for a bit from not worrying about her, or he may go into a tailspin from grief. He told us he thinks he “can bear it.” We plan to keep him in a private room after Bobbie is gone. If he later decides he would rather have a roommate, we’ll look into it. But I think he’ll probably want his privacy from here on. He has lost his sociability that marked his personality for most of his life. He finds it hard to focus on conversation, and his memory (even his long-term) is unreliable. When people visit, he just sits there silently; and if mealtime or bingo time comes around, he’ll just get up and walk away. Then he doesn’t remember that he had a visitor at all.

The comfort in all of this is that death isn’t the end. It doesn’t win. We are assured that “the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23) “For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive…For He must reign till He has put all enemies under His feet. The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.” (1Co 15:22) 

So even though we must pass through the valley (unless we are still alive at the return of Jesus), we have an assurance that we can live forever because of Jesus’ sacrifice. The journey is difficult, but the final destination is glorious.