A little soul-searching

A friend posted this verse this morning:  Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah (Psalms 4:4 NKJV)

Simple verse, but it can take a lifetime to learn to live it. First, to be able to control one’s temper…without thinking or saying or doing anything ugly. I might be able to control my actions (sometimes) or even my tongue (less often), but my thoughts? How many times does a retaliatory thought pop into my head? Way too often, I’m afraid. How many times do I pop off and say something in return? Still guilty. Learning to return good for evil is a challenge and a commandment that I struggle with daily:  Bless (this means to speak well of or praise) those who persecute you; bless and do not curse… Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:14, 20-21 NKJV)

The second part of this passage is also challenging, but in a different way. Learning to control my temper is fighting against my human passion…bringing it under control…and replacing it with the love of God. Learning to be still and meditate is a more subtle struggle. Calming my mind…focusing on God. At times, it comes very easily, such as when I’m observing an awesome view of nature. Sometimes, it comes with just a little bit of effort, such as when I’m driving down the road, alone, and choose to spend the time talking to God and admiring His creation. But during my normal, daily routine…it is very challenging. When I’m taking a break and sitting in my recliner, do I meditate and allow the Spirit to move in me? Or do I busy my mind with TV or reading for pleasure or playing games on my computer? I’m afraid I am guilty of the latter. I have what I refer to as a “lazy mind”.  I don’t like to think deep thoughts most of the time. I like to keep things light and easy and relaxing. Which is a bit ironic, don’t you think? Look at the language used in the psalm…be still.  That imagery is one of peace and contentment. Why is it so hard for me to achieve? Why must I constantly fill my mind with trivialities? Why can’t I allow the Spirit to help me find true peace? And it follows that if I spend more time working on this, the first part of the verse will also get easier! Amazing how that works, huh?

Anyway, I’m grateful for Sherry sharing this verse today. It stirred up my heart and helped me spend a bit more time today in meditating on God’s Word and doing a little soul-searching. I hope it has done the same for you.

July

We are having a little respite from the extreme heat this week. Temperatures are still hovering around 100°, but that sure beats the 110+ that we had last week! It has been a hard summer for folks who have to work outside!

Last time I did an update, we were about to take Nam to see the 4^th of July fireworks. He enjoyed them, but he was much more interested in going to see the Fire Chief (which we weren’t able to do). That kid loves firemen, policemen and EMTs!

Nam went for his 6 month follow-up visit to the international adoption clinic this week. He has grown about 1.5” and gained just over a pound. Nothing we do seems to put weight on that kid! But he is healthy and growing…he’s just probably always going to be thin. I’m going to start fixing him smoothies every afternoon to see if that helps. It is a good way to get extra fruit/fiber in him anyway (plus protein from the Greek yogurt). He is on target in all of his developmental milestones, and the nurse practitioner was very impressed with his intelligence and language skills. I just love listening to him talk. He has the sweetest little voice and is a very interesting conversationist! I wish I could remember all of his cute sayings, but they are too many. One of my favorite things is when he gets in a play argument with his action figures (and Grandad). He will keep saying “Yes (or no), sir!” in that certain tone of voice that means he’s not budging!

I had a good birthday week. After Sheila picked Nam up on the 17^th, we drove to Granbury to spend the night. When Dennis asked what I wanted to do for my 60^th birthday, I said I’d really like to go to the beach. Since we didn’t have time to do that, I decided we’d just go to the city beach in Granbury. Ha! We had a nice shrimp dinner and waited until just before sunset before going. There were still a lot of people there, so we walked along the boardwalk and then found us a picnic table to sit at. I waded for a little while, and then we headed on back to our hotel room to relax and cool off. The next morning, we slept in and then did a little shopping and walking in the park before heading to FW to pick up Nam from Sheila’s workplace just after lunch. Sheila and Ricky took me out to Chili’s for supper and we all shared a Molten Chocolate Cake for dessert. Nam wanted to sing “Happy Birthday” to me, but I wasn’t wanting the attention, so he and the rest of family sang it very quietly!

Bobbie had a pretty rough week earlier in the month. She is feeling quite a bit better now, but she really wears out easily. Daddy is doing pretty well. We were finally able to get him some compression stockings yesterday. I’m hoping they help with his swelling in his feet and legs. We ended up getting the knee-high, rather than the thigh-high that the doctor prescribed. We just didn’t think he’d be able to put the others on by himself. He can do the knee-highs, although it is still a struggle. I need to get him in to see a podiatrist to see about his feet. I didn’t realize how bad they looked until he was trying on the stockings. (I never see his bare feet!) I plan to go over there in a day or two and give them a good washing to exfoliate them. They have a lot of dead skin built up on them! I guess he just can’t reach them to clean them well when he showers. I’m waiting a bit so (hopefully) the swelling will go down. They are so swollen that the skin is very tender and easily torn.

Robbie and Charlotte were in the metroplex this past week celebrating their 25^th anniversary. They came over to HW on Sunday and spent the day with us. It was great catching up with them! After the afternoon assembly several of us went out to eat with them and visit even longer. The guys had been tied up in a business meeting all afternoon, so Dennis and Ricky didn’t get to visit with them until suppertime. We usually only get to see them about once a year. Charlotte is like one of our own kids. Dennis has known her all of her life, and I met her family when she was 5. Our two families used to do EVERYTHING together! She used to babysit my kids when they were little and she was a teenager. It is hard to believe that she has been married 25 years and her girls are starting college!

Our monthly potluck is this coming Sunday at the Pettits’. Jensen is supposed to be our guest speaker. We are looking forward to hearing a good lesson from him and visiting with him and Andrea. They are another couple that is very special to us!

Well, that about catches you up on our lives. Hope things are going well with all of you

Turning 60

How did THAT happen?! Even though my body tells me that I’m that old, my mind can’t really comprehend it. Even with my terrible memory, I can still remember playing in the alley with the neighborhood kids in Littlefield and playing hide-and-seek in the cornfields at the farm. Then after moving to Saginaw, I recall all the hours that we spent playing in the court with our drywall “chalk”, walking all over town visiting friends, and spending MANY hours at Granny and Granddaddy’s house playing with the Putman/Smith/Spurlock cousins in the mesquite flats and bar ditches; as well as all those games of Red Rover in the back yard. I barely turned around and found myself graduating high school and moving out on my own. Then Dennis came along, and we were married before you could blink. Seven years of desperately wanting children was followed by a busy, noisy, joyful houseful of young’uns…who grew up way too fast.

Am I sad about hitting the BIG 6-0? Not at all! I have never regretted aging. Life is an adventure, and each phase brings new challenges and rewards. I love the freedom that we have since Dennis retired and the time that we have to spend together. I have really enjoyed the time that we’ve spent traveling (when we’ve had the opportunity) and look forward to doing more in the future (as things settle down).  I love spending time with my grandkids. Life is so much more fun when viewed through the eyes of a youngster. I truly love becoming friends with my children. They have all grown to be amazing adults, in spite of my ignorance and mistakes in raising them. I love it when we can all get together and visit and share memories. Watching my kiddos interact as adults is a joy, as well as watching them enjoy one another’s children. After refereeing all of those (seemingly endless) battles when they were younger, telling them to cherish and appreciate their relationships, it is such a blessing to see it all come to fruition.  And of course, I am now eligible for most senior citizen discounts!

Of course, growing old isn’t all fun and games! Things start to wear out and quit working…which usually causes some pain and inconvenience. You start losing more and more of the people that you’ve loved for so long. Watching your own parents decline is very difficult! It is rough to have to take on the role of “parent” to the person(s) whom you respect and have always turned to when in need. Watching them grow feeble, in both body and mind, is heart-breaking. Trying to walk that fine line of caring for them without “bossing” them can be most challenging! Then the realization that it won’t be long before you are in their position, and your children will be facing the same responsibilities, is very sobering.

I’m also much more aware, now, of how short life really is. I appreciate the eternal so much more! Knowing that there is something waiting for me that is greater beyond measure than the things of this world, fills me with such comfort and hope. When I was younger, I felt like I still had so much of life to experience, so I didn’t really long for my eternal home. As I grow older and see the evils of this world wax worse and worse, I’m thankful that my years are grower shorter. I long for the peace and joy and splendor of being with my Savior and not having to deal with “stuff”!

All in all, I’m glad that I’m turning 60. I’m thankful that I’ve been allowed to experience all the things that have come my way. I haven’t always enjoyed everything, but it feels good to have weathered the storms and come out on the other side with the help of God. And I’m confident that He will continue to see me through the next (?) years. I still have so much to learn and experience and enjoy!

Happy 4th of July!

Things are hot and dry around here, with fires popping up on a regular basis. We have been hanging light blocking shades and curtains up in our bedrooms to try to help keep things a bit cooler. It is definitely helping things feel better. Hope it helps with our electric bill! Dennis is also having to water the grass as often as we are allowed to keep it alive.

Sheila ended up having the first 3 days of this week off, so we’ve had a little free time…more or less. We spent most of the day, yesterday, trying to get things lined up for Daddy and Bobbie to get a landline. They have struggled for years with cellphones, but it was getting harder for them to keep one in service. We happened to be in Weatherford yesterday morning, buying shades for Ricky’s room, and I wanted to run by Brookdale to see how Bobbie was doing. (She wasn’t doing very well at all on Sunday.) I knew that Brookdale was planning a trip to Walmart that morning, so we drove by there first. We saw the van and stopped. We found Daddy at the electronics counter buying yet another new cellphone. I was able to talk him out of getting it, since he just bought one about a month ago. He claimed it wasn’t working. We discussed the problems that he’s been having with them and I talked him into getting a landline instead. When we got back to Brookdale, I was able to get his other cellphone working (I just turned it on). We told him that we had 2 old phones at our house that they could have. They are very basic, old-fashioned phones. So we went to get them, then went by Charter Spectrum to line up the new service, and then went back to Brookdale to get things set up. The service technician is there right now, getting things hooked up. I’m hoping that this will make things a lot easier (and cheaper) for them to communicate effectively with others. If anyone wants their new phone number, just let me know and I will private message it to you.

We celebrated Sheila’s birthday last week. We fried up some perch and catfish for supper. It was SO good! I haven’t had fried perch in YEARS (maybe decades!). I like it SO much better than catfish! I also made a Hershey Bar Cake for Sheila. Not much was eaten, though. Everyone was too busy filling up on fish! I had taken Nam to Walmart on Monday to shop for his momma. He found a birthday card with a Superman “S” on the front, which he had to get for her. He also decided to get her candy and found an Avengers gift bag to put it in. Ha! That kid LOVES super heros!

Sheila and Nam are coming over for the 4^th and spending the night, so we can take him to watch fireworks. MW puts on a great display every year, thanks to Chicken Express. It is also much easier to deal with, as far as crowds go, than larger cities. We plan to cook hotdogs for lunch, make homemade ice cream, and then go for the fireworks show. I’m really looking forward to seeing how Nam enjoys a couple more “firsts” (making ice cream and watching fireworks).

I hope you all have a safe and enjoyable 4^th of July!