I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately. The concept that we learn from the world around us, I believe, can cause us frustration and loneliness. I want to consider what true friendship looks like.
The world shows us that friends spend all their time together and are constantly engaged in fun activities. That's the kind of friendship that we had when we were in school. We saw our friends every day, hung out after school and on weekends, and played together. After we "grow up" and get busy with our lives, we don't have time for this type of "friendship". Does that mean we don't still have close friends? I sometimes find myself falling into the trap of believing this. Then spending a week like I did last week opens my eyes.
The dictionary tells us that a friend is a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. Proverbs 17:17 tells us that a friend loves at all times. Using these two definitions, I can see just how many true friends that I have.
Some of my friends are and have been much older than me...surrogate parents or grandparents. I've been blessed all of my life to have many older women and men that I can look to as mentors and parent-figures. People that I can go to for wisdom, advice, reassurance...and just plain love. When I see them, they always have a warm hug (and sometimes kiss) for me and are truly interested in how me and my family are doing. As I see them grow grayer and more stooped and slower as the years progress, I treasure them even more...and realize how much I will miss them when they are gone.
Then there are the friends that are in my peer group. Some, I have known all of my life; some, I met in my teens; and then others, I've met along life's way. We share history together, whether it be 50+ years, or just a handful. We may not see one another except for once or twice a year. But when we do, we take up right where we left off, with no awkwardness or hesitation. We love each other and accept each other, in spite of (or maybe because of) our individual quirkiness.
There is another group that are a decade or two younger than me...ones that I knew as children or teens and have watched them mature into parents of children and teens! These hold a special place in my heart as I see them grow into themselves. I can feel both maternal towards them AND feel as if they are also my peers. I love spending time with them and seeing the way that they are training up their families...and it gives me such a strong hope for the future!
Then there are my children's peers...those that I love as my own! Before I married, I wanted a dozen or more children. Life taught me that I couldn't have that many, but it didn't matter, because my heart was still able to mother many along the way. I've always loved having a group of young folks in my home. I love having heart to heart talks with these special young people. They are all adults now, many being parents themselves, and I cherish each and every one...special friends, indeed!
Then there are the little ones! I have to admit that small children are some of my favorite friends. Of course, the relationship I have with them is much different. With adults, you have a reciprocal relationship. You share your joys and sorrows and lean on one another. With small children, you just get to soak up their joy and sweetness and energy! The thing I love most about the very young, is that they are SO easy to befriend! All it takes (most of the time) is a few smiles and a little bit of engaging them in "conversation". We can learn so much from them!
As I contemplate all of this, I realize that I am very blessed indeed! I know that if I have a crisis, all I have to do is pick up my phone, make a call, and I have FRIENDS who will be here for me. How do I know? Because I've seen it happen...time and time again. I can open my heart to so many, and they truly care. I can engage in fun activities with them, talk long into the night with them, or just sit quietly and enjoy their presence. We may not see each other on a daily, or weekly, or even monthly basis. We may not talk on the phone or snapchat or text or whatever it is that "friends are supposed to do". But our hearts are connected in a beautiful way, and for that...and for THEM...I am most thankful!
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