Getting old

Ec 12:1-7 Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, Before the difficult days come, And the years draw near when you say, "I have no pleasure in them": While the sun and the light, The moon and the stars, Are not darkened, And the clouds do not return after the rain; In the day when the keepers of the house tremble, And the strong men bow down; When the grinders cease because they are few, And those that look through the windows grow dim; When the doors are shut in the streets, And the sound of grinding is low; When one rises up at the sound of a bird, And all the daughters of music are brought low; Also they are afraid of height, And of terrors in the way; When the almond tree blossoms, The grasshopper is a burden, And desire fails. For man goes to his eternal home, And the mourners go about the streets. Remember your Creator before the silver cord is loosed, Or the golden bowl is broken, Or the pitcher shattered at the fountain, Or the wheel broken at the well. Then the dust will return to the earth as it was, And the spirit will return to God who gave it. (NKJV)

This chapter has been on my mind a lot today. It is a figurative description of the effects of old age. Actually it has been on my mind quite frequently over the past few years…watching Daddy and Bobbie age, as well as others of their generation. Old age can be cruel, and watching loved ones suffer its effects is difficult. I’m already feeling some of the consequences of age, and I know that unless something happens to shorten my life, I will reach that same existence in a much shorter timespan than I’d care to think about.

“The keepers of the house tremble.” Most agree that this is referring to the hands. My heart breaks as I watch the once strong and capable hands of my dad fumble and shake as he tries to do the most menial task. Something that takes a second or two for me might take upwards of a minute or more for him. Writing becomes difficult. Even feeding oneself can be challenging.

“And the strong men bow down” is thought to be referring to the legs as they lose their strength and become bowed. It has been incredible to me to see how much height is lost in old age. My dad was never a tall man, but he was about 5’9” in his prime. I’m 5’4” and he is noticeably shorter than me now. Part of the difference is his stooped posture from arthritis in his back, but a larger reason is the “settling” that occurs during the aging process.

“When the grinders cease because they are few”, of course, is referring to the teeth. Thankfully, in our time and nation, most people have had access to good dental care; so they either have most of their teeth or have had replacements made (of one sort or another). But most of us reach a point when it is just cheaper and easier to have a tooth pulled as we get older, especially molars. Bobbie has only lost three of hers, but it has disrupted her ability to chew enough that she struggles with eating anything other than very soft foods. That, along with her loss of desire to eat, has caused her to lose way too much weight. She is getting weaker, and I’m sure her lack of adequate nutrients is playing a part in that…even with extra fortified foods and drinks.

“And those that look through the windows grow dim”. Another side effect of aging that has been helped by modern medicine is the dimming of eyesight. Thanks to cataract surgery, most older people can see much better than throughout history. But without the intervention of science, the eyes do grow dim with age.

“When the doors are shut in the streets” is thought to have one of two meanings (or both). One is literal…the aged usually become homebound, either unable or unwilling to get out and do things. The other possible meaning is that the lips (doors to the body) stay closed due to a sluggishness and loss of desire to talk and/or eat. I see both of these quite easily as we deal with the folks. Getting out for anything is a monumental task. Back before the invention of motor vehicles, walkers, wheelchairs, etc., it would have been impossible. I also see a distinct growing listlessness as the infirmities of age progress.

“When one rises up at the sound of a bird, And all the daughters of music are brought low.” Even though most people sleep more and more as their health and energy declines, it is done in snatches…not the long, undisturbed sleep of the young. Aches and pains are frequently the cause for interrupted sleep…as are frequent trips to the restroom (I’m already in this group!) Even though you observe them sleeping “all the time”, they feel like they aren’t getting enough rest. Of course, hearing is also diminished with aging. I imagine the joy of listening to music, the sounds of nature, and the conversation of loved ones is a great loss as the ears grow dull.

“Also they are afraid of height, And of terrors in the way.” As we begin to lose our sense of balance, and our bones grow more brittle with age, there develops a natural fear of falling. Even at my age (and I still have strong, healthy bones), I have grown extra careful about walking on uneven ground and climbing ladders or other things that might cause me to fall. This becomes a major fear when any fall could mean a broken hip or other bone, or bleeding in the brain. Other fears are often magnified as the mind grows more feeble. Anxiety attacks and irrational fears are not uncommon among the elderly.

“When the almond tree blossoms, The grasshopper is a burden, And desire fails.” The blossoming almond tree represents the hoary head. As we grow old and our hair turns to white, our strength and interest in and enjoyment of things diminish greatly. We develop health problems that can cause the slightest touch to cause pain. The things we used to enjoy become too burdensome to bother with and we lose interest completely.

“For man goes to his eternal home, And the mourners go about the streets.” The inevitable end comes to all.

I don’t know if the interpretations are completely accurate here, but they do show the deterioration of the body as it ages. It is hard. It is humbling. It can be embarrassing. No one enjoys it. But unless we die at a young(er) age from disease or mishap, we will most likely face these unwelcome changes. I’ve been getting a front row seat lately, and it is heartbreaking. It can be extremely frustrating. It is definitely challenging for all involved. I’ve notice an evolution of both mine and Dennis’ prayers of late. Rather than just praying for the sick, our thoughts also turn to the aged, and those that care for them. It is a time that most of us will go through: both ourselves as we age, and as we care for our parents. Those who are old face pain and frustration and loneliness. Those who care for them deal with heartbreak and frustration and loneliness.

You may think this is somewhat morbid, but it is a fact of life that we must all deal with in one way or another. Most of my age group are dealing with the challenges of trying to care for their parents. Those older than me are already struggling with the infirmities of aging. Those younger than me, will face both of these situations at some point in their lives. And everyone, of all ages, can contribute to making these difficult years a little more pleasant. Take some time to go visit…and bring young children, if possible. Volunteer to assist a caregiver. Lend a sympathetic ear. Society tells us that it takes a village to raise a child. I believe it also takes one to care for the aged.