Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there! I hope that you are getting to spend your day with those who graced your lives and enabled you to become mothers. I am so thankful for my three! Even though they couldn’t all be here, I’m very blessed with their love (as well as their thoughtful and much appreciated gifts).

We celebrated a day early, since I really don’t like facing the restaurant crowds at lunchtime on Mother’s Day. We drove to FW and had lunch with Sheila and Nam. It was an extra special day, since this is Sheila’s first Mother’s Day to be a mom. Nam gave her the little wall hanging of his handprint that we made, as well as a Willow Tree that matches the ornament that he loves so much of “Momma and Nam”.  That kid loves my Willow Tree collection, so I wanted him to be able to enjoy having one at their house. He loves to look at them and ask, “Who’s that? What they doing?” A day doesn’t go by that he doesn’t go through our family, wanting to talk about how we are all related, and how we all became a family. Now that he has discovered our wedding album, he loves to go through it and talk about our marriage. He also loves to point to our wedding rings and my “mother’s ring” and ask us about their meaning. I know I’ve said it on numerous occasions, but that kid truly LOVES family!

We also celebrated Sheila and Nam’s 6 month anniversary this past week. It fell on the night that they normally sleep over at our house, so we had a special dinner of pho, stir-fry and egg rolls. It is hard to believe that a half-year has already gone by since Nam’s adoption! Even though his presence in our day to day life feels normal, now, I still find myself watching him with amazement from time to time. I am so thankful that God provided this incredible little guy for Sheila to adopt! He adds so much joy and life to our days. His progress is phenomenal. His pronunciation is still difficult to understand at times, and his grammar still has a ways to go, but his vocabulary and comprehension are probably either on target for his age, or slightly advanced. And he always finds a way to communicate so that he can be understood! (He is quite good at pantomiming!) He has such a loving and curious nature, and is SO cute, that he wins hearts wherever he goes! He can still be a little toot at times, but what 4-year-old boy isn’t? I love watching him learning about God’s love, about being kind, about showing respect to others, about trust and fidelity, and all of the other things that children normally learn from infancy. He is getting a late start in many areas, but he is soaking it in and making SO much progress! It is a privilege to be involved in this process and have a “front-row seat” to watching him blossom in his mother’s love and care!

Being a mother has always been my greatest desire and my most enjoyable "job"...up until I gained the new role of granny, that is. Each of my kiddos holds a very special place in my heart. Stephen, my firstborn, who taught me how to be a mother. Sheila, my daughter and my best friend. Ricky, my "baby" who has so much love and compassion in his heart. Jesse, who gave me the much anticipated and highly enjoyable role of being a granny. Shepherd, who broke my heart with his beautiful, sad eyes and later mended it with his amazing smile. Nam, who fills my days and heart with sunshine. And finally, little miss Gracie, my granddaughter that I can't wait to get to know. I am beyond blessed!

Praise ye the LORD. Praise, O ye servants of the LORD, praise the name of the LORD…He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. (Psalms 113:1-9 KJV)

Nam's impact on my life

A few days ago, Sheila posted her first blog article since becoming a mother. Reading it filled my heart with love and joy over the blessings that we’ve received since we got Nam, and for the grace that my daughter has shown through it all. I am so proud of the mother that she has become, in a difficult situation, and I’m so thankful to be able to share in the care of this amazing little boy.

I’ve discussed our day-to-day routine, as well as Nam’s progress since he arrived, but I haven’t really gotten into the impact that he has had on our lives. We knew that this was going to be life-changing, but we really had no idea what to expect. Those first few weeks were HARD! Lack of sleep (both in Vietnam and back home) plus trying to help Nam adjust to a new world had us all struggling. Then when Sheila went back to work, we had to learn to deal with new challenges:  helping Nam feel safe and get used to traveling back and forth between two households, the effort of driving back and forth to FW every day, learning to discipline and train a child whose background we know very little about and who spoke a different language, and trying to keep up with our other responsibilities. There have been glitches and tears along the way, believe you me! But I wouldn’t trade our new lives for anything.

I know when people ask and I tell them how great Nam is, they think, “Yeah, typical grandmother speak!” But this little guy truly has been amazing and has brought SO much joy and laughter into our lives. He is smart…because he works at it! He has such a curious nature about him and LOVES to learn new things. He is funny and mischievous. He loves to tease and laugh. Sometimes he carries his teasing too far, so we have to try to reign him in…teaching him that teasing can hurt people’s feelings, which we DON’T want to do. But he finds joy in so many things, which inspires us to do the same. He has such a vivid imagination and can play for hours with the simplest of toys. His favorites are blocks and puzzles and Play-doh…and of course, his super heroes. He loves animals! He likes to watch nature videos, especially about the large cats in Africa. He has always used various toys (blocks, puzzle pieces, Play-doh) to play like they are animals. I ordered him a set of 6 plastic animals this week (which came in yesterday), and he didn’t put them down the rest of the day. He enjoys looking for deer (and horses and cows) along the roadway or in the state park. He can’t wait to get old enough to start hunting with Grandad! But most of all, he has a loving and tender heart! He can be very hard-headed at times, and downright mean occasionally, but he is (when not angry) very reasonable and listens to why he should behave in a certain way. He hates it when he ends up hurting someone, whether physically or emotionally, and is quick to make amends. He is generous with his “thank yous” and “I love yous” and hugs and kisses (unless he is in a teasing mood!). He loves to “help” with most chores. He is sensitive and self-conscious and a bit self-doubting about a few things. He is gentle with younger children and shares well.

I’ve never been a big “spoiling” kind of parent or grandparent. I don’t like to overload kids with toys and stuff. But I have really struggled with this and Nam. Seeing him find so much joy in playing with his things, and seeing how much he appreciates what he has, makes me want to buy him whatever he wants. I don’t, of course, but I do end up buying much more than I ever thought I would! We are quickly filling up both Sheila’s apartment and our living room!

I had wondered if I could physically hold up to caring for an active 4-year-old on a daily basis. It has been challenging, but not as much as I was concerned it would be. Of course, it really helps having Dennis as an active participant, especially since Nam prefers playing with Grandad! I’m pretty well able to keep up with my normal chores and activities. Dennis and I trade off transporting him back and forth, so I only have to drive two days a week, and Dennis drives two days. Grandad does most of the physically challenging play, and I focus on the more mentally stimulating activities. I have done my share of lion dancing and roughhousing and racing though! Ha! I do feel more aches and pains lately, but the trade-off is definitely worth it. Our lives were pretty routine and boring before he came along. Now they are filled with love and laughter and joy and wonder! There is nothing quite like seeing the world through the eyes of a 4-year-old orphan immigrant!

With his burgeoning language skills and his emotional adjustment, Nam has started talking more about his past in Vietnam. At first, he didn’t mention it or act like he missed it at all. We figure this was mostly a defense mechanism used to deal with his loss. Now that he is truly comfortable in his new life, he can look back with nostalgia and tell us about people and things that he liked or didn’t like. Sheila has made contact with the family of an 8-year-old girl from his orphanage, and they Skype once a week. She has recently found a family in France who adopted a boy that he was friends with in Vietnam, and they plan to do the same with him. Nam looks forward to these times of connecting with his old friends. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, we are preparing for attending the celebration of Tet in a couple of weeks. It will be really interesting to see how Nam reacts to being back in a predominantly Vietnamese setting. (The doctor at the international clinic warned us that it might be unsettling for him.) Along with the positive interactions, Nam has told us about a worker from the orphanage and another boy there that were “bad guys, Nam no love”. We are hoping to learn more as he learns more English and has the capacity to share some of his past experiences.

I think one of the biggest surprises is how healthy Nam is, both physically and emotionally. His bloodwork all came back within normal parameters…no diseases nor deficiencies. A large majority of children from institutional care have problems with attachment. Nam bonded with us from the very beginning. We’ve been very impressed with the apparently superior care that he received at the orphanage. We know that he faced his challenges (the scars on his head and body attest to that), but he is, for the most part, a very healthy and well-adjusted little boy.

Sheila achieved another major milestone yesterday. The judge signed the order that legally changes Nam’s name. He is now Nam Josiah Gerrald! We had thought that wouldn’t take place until 6 months after his Vietnamese adoption, but Sheila’s lawyer was able to push it through at an expedited pace. That will be very helpful with legal matters:  filing her income taxes and getting her adoption tax credit, avoiding duplicating paperwork, and such like. Plus it just feels good knowing that he now (legally) shares our name!

Besides the joy and love that Nam brings to our lives now, I am also enjoying the new dimension that motherhood adds to my relationship with Sheila. I am amazed at her patience and adaptability! She has never been a morning person, but Nam has been a persistently EARLY riser (usually waking up between 5 and 6 am). Although she still hopes he will eventually start sleeping a little later, it does have some advantages. It gives them some special time together in the mornings before she has to go to work. Evenings are pretty busy. We eat supper as soon as she gets here after work, then there is just a little time for them to play (especially on the nights that they drive back to FW)before it is time to start baths and settling down for bed. The time that we get to spend with Sheila is much greater now also. Before Nam, we usually only saw her once a week. Now we see her daily (except on weekends). Our relationship and roles are changing, but those changes only add a new richness to our family.

So how has Nam being in our day-to-day lives affected us? More than I can possibly elaborate! I am extremely thankful for this wonderful little blessing that has invaded our home and hearts!

Day 149: My Willow Tree collection

I've mentioned before that I am NOT a collector.  I do, however, own one collection...my Willow Trees.  It started many years ago when Sheila presented me with a wall plaque depicting a mother and daughter hugging.  I loved it!  In the years since, she has given me figurines of a mother & daughter, mother & sons, husband & wife, and one depicting each of my children (and their individual personalities).  I've also been given one depicting hospitality by Dennis; a couple from Anita depicting friendship; a couple from Jessica depicting her feelings; and one from my cousin, Gwen.  Yesterday, I received my newest one from Stephen, Mandy and Jesse...probably my favorite...of a grandma rocking her grandbaby. 

Although I love the simple beauty of the Willow Tree figurines, the thing I love the most about them is the emotion that each depicts.  They aren't just a "pretty" on a shelf...they symbolize the relationship between the giver and myself.  Each one was a gift from the heart.  Each one makes me think of the loved one who gave it to me.  Each one is very special!  So today, I am thankful for my Willow Tree collection...but most of all, for what it represents.

Philippians 1:3 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,

A Time to Mourn

 

I hardly know where to begin!  Monday was pretty routine.  I attended Bro. Bass' funeral Tuesday morning and then drove straight to the CPS office in Weatherford to observe a visit.  Barely had time to do much around the house before starting on supper.  The roofer was scheduled to begin on Wednesday.  I was awaiting his arrival before heading out for my walk, when Dennis called.  His mother was in very bad shape and they were calling in the family.  I hurriedly took care of making phone calls to free up my week, got cleaned up, and threw enough clothes in a suitcase to last the remainder of the week.  Dennis came in during that time and we left for Arkansas around 9:30.  We were in constant communication with Belinda and/or Warren...getting the latest on Maxine.  Ricky and Sheila were about an hour behind us.  We got the word at 1:26 that she had passed away.  Dennis was really hoping we could make it to the hospital in time, but it just wasn't to be.  The kids turned back around and went home until we could make arrangements for the funeral.  We finally arrived in Benton about 4:30.

The next couple of days were spent making funeral arrangements, going through drawers and files trying to round up all of the necessary paperwork, and beginning the process of cleaning out the house.  (Plus we had to deal with a carpenter ant infestation in our roof, by phone, that the roofer discovered in our absence.)  The visitation was Friday night, and the funeral was Saturday morning with a second service at the graveside in Fouke.  We were all very grateful for the attendance of everyone, as well as the food provided and all the phone calls and messages and flowers!  Maxine was a wonderful Christian woman who was loved by so many.  She will be greatly missed.

After a LONG day of funeral services and driving, we finally made it home about 10:30 or so last night.  As we were unloading and bringing things in, we noticed the house was unusually warm.  Dennis started investigating and discovered that while we were gone, lightening had struck our A/C unit and burned out a wire.  Thankful that was all the damage done!  He replaced the wire and we were finally able to go to bed around midnight.

The roofers finished up today while we were at the morning assembly.  We were really blessed to have found such a reliable and accommodating guy to do the job!  He carried on in our absence and referred us to a good pest control company when the need arose.  Our neighbor kept a wary eye on him and reported that he was impressed by his professionalism and quality work! 

Been trying to catch up on laundry and organizing between and after services today.  I inherited Maxine's phone, so I've been trying to get all of my contacts entered.  We also brought home a dresser and couch, which we moved in today.  I will try to get everything moved and organized and tidied up tomorrow.  Dennis is taking the day off so that we can attend to some unfinished business.  Then, hopefully, we will get back into a "normal" routine.  It has been weeks since we've had anything that resembled "normal"!

Guess it is time to turn in for the night.  I hope that each of you has a good week and no unpleasant surprises!

In honor of my mother-in-law:  1Ti 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;  10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

A Beautiful Weekend!

I hope all of you mothers out there enjoyed a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday!  Mine was great!  I woke up to a dozen roses from my sweet hubby.  Had a very good assembly at Highway.  Layne gave an excellent (as usual) lesson on belief and commitment...and how essential they are to each other, and to us!  Sheila invited us over for dinner.  She cooked a scrumptious meal of tilapia and lots of yummy veggies, plus berries for dessert.  Had a relaxing afternoon and then another good assembly last evening with a good study from James on the battle of Jericho.  Then to top it all off, a call from Stephen.  Such a great day!

Dennis and I began the South Beach Diet last week (hence the fish and veggies for dinner yesterday).  At his last checkup, the doctor didn't like his fasting blood sugar level...wasn't high, just higher than he thought it should be.  So he recommended that Dennis start a low carb diet.  South Beach worked so well for both of us before, we decided to do it again.  So far, so good.  It does take some getting used to, but it really does work well.  We started in on Phase 2...completely cutting out carbs (including fruit) for 2 weeks on the Phase 1 just wasn't something we were willing to do!  Dennis had been "sort of" dieting for a week or two before we got serious last week, and I had gotten back into my exercise routine 2-3 weeks previously.  We have both lost 10 pounds during that time...3-4 of those just last week.  We both feel better already, and I am already having to cut my blood pressure medicine in half.  I'm hoping to be off of it completely in another week or so!

Friday was the bake sale that the bank held for raising money for my trip to Idaho.  I sat at the pie table most of the day.  With the money earned from the pies/cakes and the donation from the bank, I have all the money I need for my airline ticket plus a few hundred dollars to pay for extras (like meals, snacks for the kiddos, and renting car seats for the rental car - CPS won't pay for that!).  I'm so thankful that we received so much extra.  I was anticipating an airline ticket as low as $350-500, but it ended up being $1600!  We will be flying out at 8:00 from DFW on May 29 and returning the next morning at 5:30.  That is going to be one LONG day!  But I am so thankful that I will be able to be there for my babies and see them safely to their new home!

We got our new song books at Highway and used them for the first time yesterday.  I love the editing job that has been done on these books!  I really think we are going to enjoy them.  They don't have all the newest songs in them like a lot of the ones that others have been getting, but they have a lot of old songs that we don't know.  I noticed as we were singing one yesterday that it included a verse I'd never heard.  I thought it was beautiful and wanted to share it with you.  It is from the old familiar, "Stepping in the Light".

Walking in footsteps of gentle forbearance,
Footsteps of faithfulness, mercy, and love,
Looking to Him for the grace freely promised,
Happy, how happy, our journey above.

 

I hope this week finds you walking in His footsteps!

 

 

Ps 119:133  Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.

 

1Pe 2:21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:



Mother's Day Musings

I wanted to share with you a couple of my favorite moms from the Bible.  The first, a heroine of mine for over 30 years, is Hannah.  I identified with her struggle of barrenness.  Her earnest prayers were an example for me to follow as I waited on the Lord.  Then when God blessed her with a son, Samuel, she gave him to serve the Lord his whole life, which is what we all, as mothers, should aspire to do.  Her sacrifice was very real...she would only get to visit him once a year, bringing garments that she had made.  What an example of faith and sacrifice!  One of my favorite quotes was uttered by her:  1Sa 1:27 For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him:

The other is Mary, the mother of our Saviour.  Can you imagine the faith it would take to hear the message delivered to her by the angel of the Lord?  She would have to bear the whisperings and rejection of those around her by being with child before marriage.  Then she would be responsible for nurturing and training up the Son of God!  What was her response?  Lu 1:38 And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.   Then imagine what it would have been like to hold this special baby in her arms and watch Him grow into adulthood.  We are told by the gospel of Luke how she pondered and kept all those things in her heart.

Isn't that what all of us, as mothers, do?  We watch our children grow and are amazed at their sweetness, their energy, their enthusiasm, their intelligence, their talent...the list goes on and on.  And we keep all those things in our hearts...to be remembered and cherished.  We pull them out from time to time and smile or weep as we relive their joys and triumphs, as well as their pains and struggles.  We ponder about how their lives will unfold, about the mistakes we made along the way and how they will effect our children over the course of their lives, about the miracle of being allowed the awesome responsibility of being entrusted with the care and training of these amazing creatures!  And our children are mere mortals...Mary's firstborn was God in the flesh!

I am so very thankful for the wonderful blessing of being allowed to be a mother.  I'm thankful for the three children that I have had the privilege of loving and having as a part of my life.  I am thankful for all the older mothers that have influenced me and showered me with love and advice throughout my life. And I am thankful for the younger women who are currently working at training up their children in the Lord.  May God bless them with the wisdom, courage, strength, patience and love that they will need to faithfully perform their vocation.  Happy (belated) Mother's Day!