How are YOU doing?

This is probably the most asked question of our day. With social distancing, and sheltering at home, we are relying on social media and texting and phone calls to stay in touch. The stress of the times is having it's toll on everyone. So naturally, we all want to check in on our loved ones to see how they are doing.

I am enjoying this new sense of community and concern for one another. It's ironic that being restricted to electronic communication (which many of us have chafed at for years) has made us so much more in tune with others and desirous of face-to-face time. I hope that when this is all over that we hang on to this newfound concern and connectedness!

Now to answer the question...how am I doing? I'm fine! Being retired, this isn't a huge change for Dennis and me. We miss assembling with our normal group on Sundays and being able to eat out...plus a few inconveniences of having to do business under these restrictive circumstances. But we pretty much stayed home most of the time anyway, other than running errands and visiting our kiddos occasionally. The biggest change for me is not going to the nursing home every day to see about Daddy, which has nothing to do with COVID-19. The first few days after his burial, I felt a bit lost with no one to take care of anymore. I still need to find a new "purpose" once I'm able to get out and around again. I'm a caregiver. I don't really know how to be anything else.

I've received so many cards and messages from people who are wanting to know how I'm doing after losing Daddy. Honestly, I feel fine. Those last two weeks of his life, I grieved terribly...crying every day, my heart breaking from watching him die. After he died, until we buried him, my emotions were still raw. But I haven't cried in over a week. I understand, from times past after losing a loved one, that grief can get put on hold. It takes weeks or months, sometimes, for it to really hit you. Then it can wash over you and feel overwhelming at the most incongruous time. So I realize that I may still have some grieving to do. I honestly feel like most of my grieving took place over the past 3 years, as I watched my dad fade away and become someone that I didn't recognize anymore.

As far as how I'm holding up under the pandemic "scare", I'm really not having any problems. I'm thankful that I'm facing this at a time in my life when I've already weathered my share of storms. My faith has been reassured so many times throughout my life that I am really not worried about how I'm going to get through this. I don't want to get the virus, and I'm using reasonable caution to avoid it, but if I do get it, I'm not afraid to die. I don't particularly want to go through the suffering, but I know that God would see me through that, too. Our finances have taken a big hit because of all of this, but we are still better off than we were for many years when we were younger. I'm hoping that none of my family or friends will get the virus, and I pray for them daily, but I am assured that God will take care of His children...whatever may come.

That's not to say that I'm totally unaffected by the stress of the times. I'm hyperaware of everything that I feel in my body. I regularly check my temperature, so that I can take measures if I should get sick. Since this is allergy season, and I always have a chronic cough and chest tightness, I want to make sure that it is just my regular stuff. I also find myself getting a bit short-tempered and irritated from time to time. Whether that is from grief, stress or just being cooped up at home, or a combination of all three, is anybody's guess. But I'm trying to focus on good things every day...reading heartwarming stories about everyday heroes on social media; doing my daily Bible study and journaling; staying in contact with friends and family though texts, phone calls, Zoom, cards, etc.; and doing a little knitting to feel like I'm being somewhat productive.

So that's how I'm doing in all of this craziness that's going on. How are YOU doing?