"Keeping on keeping on"

Life is pretty much getting back to normal for Dennis and myself…our new normal, anyway. It looks like with the huge spikes in COVID cases, this may go on for a while. Wearing a mask in public is no big deal…certainly something that we can do to help contain the spread! I do miss eating out at restaurants, but we are eating healthier at home anyway. We are having “regular” sleepovers with Nam now, and we’ve been able to visit with all of our kiddos in the past few weeks. So I really have no complaints! Dennis and I keep talking about how blessed we are during all of the craziness going on.

My CASA work is really gearing up! I have three cases now. I hadn’t planned to do more than just the one, but the need is so great, it’s hard to ignore. This week has been pretty busy. I visited 3 of my 4 kids this week and observed a visit between a couple of my kiddos and their mom. Then we had (Zoom) court this morning. I have another hearing next week (on my newest case, so it doesn’t require a court report). I really enjoy being back in the work, but it does stress me out to a certain degree. You get so involved in people’s lives at one of the worst times in their life, so it can be heartbreaking. I also really get stressed out when I have to appear in court! Even though I may not seem to be the type to get nervous about speaking in front of people, I am! Any time I have to speak in a “formal” setting, I get very anxious…a type of stage-fright, I suppose…especially when it has to do with important matters and my voice is weighed heavily in the decision-making process. I’ve never had a lot of self-confidence. I’m more of a self-blamer. I constantly second guess myself and doubt myself. Anytime ANYTHING goes wrong, I automatically wonder what I did to cause it! So I guess I’m not really cut out for this type of work. But it is something that desperately needs to be done, and I have the time and desire to do it, so here I am.

Dennis is doing great! He has currently lost 25 pounds. He is now off of his blood pressure medication and has his blood sugar well-controlled. He is still working on the drywall in the living room and hallway. He’s new at this type of work and is a perfectionist, so it is taking a LONG time! It shouldn’t be too much longer before we can do the texturing and painting though. I’m ready to have my living room back!

I went to see my cardiologist for the first time in 3 years. I was concerned about some little issues that I was having. He was very happy with my checkup and couldn’t see any problems. He did schedule me for a stress test and a Doppler of my carotid arteries, just to be on the safe side. The stress test is in a couple of weeks and the Doppler, a couple of weeks after that. I also go for my regular checkup around the same time to get my bloodwork done. I always try to do my routine medical stuff around my birthday, so I can keep up with it. I am also having to return to my orthopedic doctor in a couple of weeks. My shoulders are continuing to get worse, and some days I can barely lift my arms. So I think it time for another steroid shot. I’ve been trying to put it off, because I really don’t like the idea of going to doctor’s offices and testing places right now. But the number of COVID cases is only getting worse, and I am concerned about developing nerve damage if I put it off too long.

Dennis took a quick trip to the hill country this week. He found a good opportunity for a hunting lease for a few of the guys that have been looking for one. Dennis has lost access to a couple of places that he has been hunting locally, so he is needing other options, too. He had talked to the landowner on the phone and wanted to check out the place in person. He was very impressed, so he booked a 4-day hunt for himself and a few other guys. While he was “in the neighborhood” he dropped by our favorite pecan place in San Saba and brought home 10 pounds of Nocona pecans. I had run out of my good pecans and have been having to resort to “store-bought”. There is really no comparison between the two! So I’m really happy to have some quality nuts on hand. I still have to crack and shell them, which I’ll probably try to get done this weekend. They are a large paper-shelled nut, so they are pretty easy to shell out.

Well, that’s pretty much what is going on in our world! I hope all of you are staying safe and healthy and seizing the opportunities that present themselves for doing good! This world is in a pretty sorry state right now, and we all need to do what we can to make things kinder and better. God bless!

Day 80: Today I am thankful for the CPS workers, attorney-ad-litems and others who devote themselves to helping children.

Last week I posted about being thankful that our society looks after the well-being and safety of abused and neglected children.  Today I want to look at some of the people in that system. 

I had a very "interesting" day yesterday.  My new CASA case had a hearing scheduled at 9 a.m. in Weatherford.  This is my first case in Parker County, and things are done quite a bit differently over there than in Palo Pinto.  Before your cause number is called, the participants meet in the conference room to go over the case facts, review new information, etc.  In the meeting that was conducted on my case were the lawyers for both parents, the Attorney-ad-litem (the attorney appointed by the court to represent the child), the CPS investigators and their supervisor, plus myself.  I was struck by the concern exhibited by each and everyone of them for the child involved.

Let me explain a little about the process.  When a complaint comes in, CPS (which is actually DFPS in Texas - the Department of Family Protective Services) sends out a team of investigators, usually 2 people.  They try to determine what has happened, take pictures of the scene, and decide whether the circumstances warrant removal of the child(ren).  There is usually one investigator that takes the lead on the case and basically works as the caseworker during this initial part of the case.  They present a report to the court at the Adversary Hearing citing why the removal was necessary and requests that The Dept. be made Temporary Managing Conservator of the child(ren).  After the Adversary Hearing, the case is turned over to a CVS - conservatorship caseworker.   (This is a very simplified explanation.)

Back to my story:  after the hearing, the lead investigator was going to pick up the child from the foster home to bring back to the CPS office for a visit with each (biological) parent.  I like to be present to observe these visits, because it can give you a lot of insight into the relationship of the family by watching how they interact.  It was going to be about an hour and a half before the visit (due to travel time), so I asked if I could accompany her.  That would also allow me time to hear, first hand, her narrative of the events in the case...perhaps picking up a few more details than were in the report.  (CASAs receive copies of all reports filed by CPS.)  I am so thankful that I had that opportunity!  The investigator is a young woman who has been with CPS for a couple of years.  She has a love/hate relationship with her job, which I believe is probably pretty common.  You see so much of the ugliness of our society in a position such as that!  However, there are moments when you really feel like you are making a difference in helping change the life of a child...which makes the job seem bearable.  We had a wonderful visit during our drive.  I got to know her as a person (which I would have never had the opportunity to do otherwise), I got a better insight into the case, and I also had another opportunity to spend time with our little girl...win/win/win!

When we got back to the CPS office (with our precious cargo), the mother and child had an hour long visit.  The visits take place in a room filled with toys and have a one-way mirror which allows observation by the CPS caseworker, CASA, attorneys, etc.  This case has generated quite a bit of interest in the Dept., so we had several people drifting in and out...the case supervisor, the new CVS caseworker, and other caseworkers.  After the mother's visit was completed, the biological father had an hour long visit with the little girl.  His attorney stayed to observe most of the visit, as well.  (Believe me, the observation room can get pretty crowded at times!)  During all of the events of the day, I was continuously encouraged by the strong sense of caring for the little girl involved in the case.  Everyone's heart was touched by this adorable child, and everyone felt a strong desire to protect her and do everything they could to see that she will be placed in a safe and loving home. 

People tell me all the time that they don't see how I can do this "job."  All they can think about is the ugliness that necessitates it.  There is so much more to it than that!  I see beautiful, precious children that are amazingly resilient.  I see broken homes that are repaired.  I see caring professionals who dedicate their lives into protecting the innocent.  True, sometimes things don't work out well.  Sometimes the system fails.  Sometimes children are too broken and things don't end well for them.  It takes a toll on everyone.  The turnover rate for CPS workers is phenomenal!  But when the day is done, I mostly see a community of people who work together to make the life of an endangered child better.  For that, I am very thankful!

Jeremiah 22:3 Thus saith the LORD; Execute ye judgment and righteousness, and deliver the spoiled out of the hand of the oppressor: and do no wrong, do no violence to the stranger, the fatherless, nor the widow, neither shed innocent blood in this place.

Do you know someone who is hurting?

Something has been on my mind for a long time, and I finally decided I needed to share it.  I saw an article on facebook today that spurred me on.  It was a story of a young woman whose husband was killed while she was pregnant with their first child.  She had to move back in with her mother and thought she was going to lose everything she owned.  The kindness of strangers proved her wrong.  She received an anonymous gift of $500, plus her husband's boss dropped by with a final paycheck, a bonus plus death benefits that her husband didn't technically qualify for.

How often do we hear, or say ourselves to someone, "If you need anything, just let me know!"?  Let me let you in on a little secret.  Usually the people who are hurting the most are NOT going to ask for help.  If they are struggling with chronic health problems, or grief, or depression, or financial hardship...they are probably in too much pain or feeling too low about themselves to reach out.  THEY need others to reach out to them!

I remember after my miscarriages, when I was really depressed, the feeling that nobody cared.  No one ever said anything to me about it or dropped by to talk or listen.  I was talking to Dennis about it one day, and he told me about all the people who had approached him about how I was doing...and if they could do anything to help.  But I didn't know that because they never approached me.

Folks, if you know someone who is hurting badly...reach out to them!  Drop in for a visit, ask them over for an evening, ask them to accompany you to some kind of activity...ANYTHING.  Don't wait for them to ask you for help.  If you know they can't pay their bills and you have more than you need, drop them a check in the mail.  Don't ask their family what you can do...they are probably struggling enough to try to figure out what THEY can do.  Reach out to them and BE THEIR FRIEND!  There is little in this world that feels worse than feeling like you are floundering to keep your head above water, and no one is there to reach out their hand.  So please, please, reach out your hand!

Mt 25:34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38  When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39  Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

1Jo 3:16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? 18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

A Lot of Giving Going On!

I am moving pretty slowly this morning.  Last night was our Relay for Life.  I was on Ricky's (Titan Bank) team this year.  It was his first year to captain a team.  It takes a LOT of work to be a team captain, and I'm proud of the job he did!  It was fun to watch him last night with the little kids.  Our booth had piñatas and pin the tail on the donkey (which we never actually got around to playing).  He was so sweet with all the little ones who came to try their hand at the piñatas.  (It was amazing to me that NONE of the kids who played had ever done it before!)  We didn't actually make any money at the event, but we had a good year of fundraising over all.  And we all had a good time last night!  The plans were to spend the whole night, but we decided to pack it up and come home around 2:30.  I can tell you...this old woman was happy about THAT decision!  I actually got over 6 hours of sleep in my bed!  (It would have been more but, as happens frequently after Relay, I woke up with a killer sinus headache.)

This has been a great week!  A dear friend of ours from church had given us LOTS of pecans (I'm talking 1 1/2 feed sacks full).  I gave some away, but have been trying to whittle away at cracking and shelling the rest.  I currently have about 2 1/2 gallons of nutmeats in the freezer right now (and I haven't been shy about using them).  I still have about 3/4 of a sack full left to crack and shell.  I'll stay busy with this job for awhile! 

I spent a good bit of time this week working on soliciting donations for a trip I am wanting to make for my CASA babies.  My youngest CASA kids (ages 1 and 2) are waiting to go live in their "forever" home with their grandmother.  Their parents lost their parental rights and are both serving long prison sentences for the injury that they caused to the youngest (who was starved almost to death).  CPS usually sends one worker to transport the children.  The one they have chosen to do this transport (which will involve driving an hour to the airport, flying for  4-6 hours, then driving another hour in a rental car to their destination), is a brand new caseworker who has NEVER MET the children.  I did not want the kids to go through the stress of taking that long of a journey with a stranger, so I have been checking into the possibility of me going along to help.  After obtaining permission from both CPS and our CASA executive director, we started focusing on how to PAY for the trip (CPS will not pay for non-employees expenses).  My program director worked up a letter to use for fundraising purposes, which we started circulating this week.  Within 24 hours, I had the funds guaranteed!  My dear daughter planned a bake sale at the bank (along with her wonderful co-workers).  They are experts in baking and selling pies!  They already have orders for 40 pies at $20 each.  They are also going to auction off a couple of cakes that I will be making (bids are already up to over $100).  PLUS the bank president has already given me a check for $1000!  I was flabbergasted!!!  I will have plenty of money for the trip, and all the extra money will be donated back into our local CASA.  The bake sale will be this next week...just in time for Mother's Day.  We plan to transport my babies the last week of the month.  I'm very excited to meet their grandmother face-to-face.  We have spent a LOT of hours talking and texting each other, as well as sending emails back and forth.  It will be great to finally get to meet her and see the kids' new home!  Plus it will give me all those extra hours to be with my babies one last time and help make their trip "home" a little easier.  I am SO thankful for the help of all those who have contributed to making this happen!

Ac 20:35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

I'm a CASA!

I'm so excited that I had to share my good news.  As of this morning I am a Court Appointed Special Advocate for children (CASA).  After 30 hours of training plus several hours of courtroom observation, I was officially sworn in by our district judge.  I'm hoping to receive my first case (actually it will probably be a co-case for the first one, for a little additional support!) in the next few weeks.  I'm nervous about the responsibilities I'll have as well as the emotional struggles that it is bound to bring, but I'm really excited about taking on this role as an advocate for abused or neglected children.  I pray that God will give me the wisdom and strength to faithfully perform my duties and provide good and well-founded recommendations for the judge!

Ps 119:66 Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments.
Pr 24:23  These things also belong to the wise. It is not good to have respect of persons in judgment.
Joh 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
Ps 72:4 He shall judge the poor of the people, he shall save the children of the needy, and shall break in pieces the oppressor.

None of Self?

I have so much on my heart this morning.  I look around and see so much pain and ugliness and it breaks my heart.  If it bothers me, who is sinful and carnal, just think what it does to the heart of God.  Mr 10:18 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.

 Ro 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; 

Ge 6:5-6 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually  And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

Why do we hurt one another?  Why don’t we give more of ourselves and think more of the needs of others?  The scriptures tell us that sin comes from love of the world.  1Jo 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.  The core of these three things is self-centeredness.  We want the things that we want.  We want to do the things we want to do.  We want others to think highly of us.  “I” am at the center of all that I say and do and think.  Christ gave us the remedy for this: Mt 22:37-39  Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

 Lu 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

Of course, we all know this…it is the basis of Christianity.  We are to be likened unto Christ and die to our old man through repentance, be buried into Christ through baptism, and rise to walk a spiritual life in Him.  But do we REALLY  do it?  Is seeking God’s will the most important thing in our lives?  Do we care for others’ needs as much as we do for our own?  Do we LOVE others as much as we do ourselves? 

Do I ever get into an argument with someone?  What causes it?  Why do I want to prove that I’m right and they are wrong, or why do I want to impose my will on another?  2Ti 2:24-25 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient  In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

Do I ever say something, even if it is in ignorance, that is demeaning or hurtful to another?  Do I take the time and forethought to consider my words before speaking or writing them?  Col 4:6 Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

 Ec 10:12 The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.

Do I freely give of myself (time, money, energy) to help others…even when it is hard or I don’t really feel like it?  Do I even think about it?  How much doesn’t ever get done just because it never enters our minds?  Mt 25:41-46 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:  For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:  I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying,  Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

Ga 5:13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

I watched a movie last night, “The Grace Card”.  It wasn’t the greatest movie in the world but the premise was excellent.  Do we truly love others and forgive others, even when it is hard or when they hurt us?  Mt 5:44-48 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Ro 12:20-21 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

So what am I getting at with all of this?  (I wish that I had the talent of my husband or my children to coherently express what is on my heart.  I just muddle through as best I can.)  I’m just wanting to remind us all, myself especially, to focus less on “self” and more on God and others.  I want us to truly be able to sing that song “None of Self and All of Thee”. 

Oh, the bitter pain and sorrow
That a time could ever be,
When I proudly said to Jesus,
“All of self, and none of Thee.”

Yet He found me; I beheld Him
Bleeding on th’ accursed tree,
And my wistful heart said faintly,
“Some of self, and some of Thee.”

Day by day His tender mercy,
Healing, helping, full and free,
Brought me lower while I whispered,
“Less of self, and more of Thee.”

Higher than the highest heaven,
Deeper than the deepest sea,
Lord, Thy love at last has conquered:
“None of self, and all of Thee.”

Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

Well, the kids will be leaving the country this afternoon.  Stephen and Mandy met us at Daddy's house on Thursday, so I could drive the three of them to the airport.  (They left their truck there to avoid those airport parking fees!)  I enjoyed getting to spend a little time with them before their departure.  I'm so thankful that Stephen and Mandy decided to go.  It made me feel a lot better dropping Sheila off at the airport...having her big brother there to be with her.  I believe they have been enjoying their time in Florida!  I know they are looking forward to the real purpose of their trip, tho.  They will spend three days distributing shoes to kids in a large neighborhood of 40,000 residents, half of whom are immigrants from Nicaragua and other Central American countries.  Over half of the population lives below the poverty line and have no formal employment.  They will be washing the children's feet, fitting them with new shoes, distributing toys, painting the girls' fingernails, and generally demonstrating love to the children who come.  When they are not distributing shoes, they will be taking tours of the countryside, both on foot and by zipline.  Please keep all of them in your prayers as they journey to Costa Rica over the next three days!

We had a WONDERFUL Lord's Day yesterday!  Mark and Karen came over yesterday morning and Mark spoke for us.  He did an outstanding job, as usual!  I really love hearing him speak.  He gives such meaningful and inspiring lessons, and has such a great speaking style.  We really enjoyed our visit with both of them.

After evening services, most of us went out to Rosa's for supper.  Even tho Heather really wasn't feeling well, she managed to make it to both assemblies AND went out with us.  I don't often get to enjoy a lengthy visit with her and Layne, so I enjoyed our time at Rosa's together.  Please continue to keep Heather in your prayers.  She is in constant pain and is nauseated most of the time now.  The lupus is attacking her liver.  It breaks my heart to see her suffer so much, but she handles it with so much strength and grace.  She struggles to take care of her own family, but she also plans to volunteer at a local shelter to help others.  She truly is an inspirational young woman!

Take care and try to stay cool!!!

Joh 13:13-15 Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.

I'm enjoying my new volunteer job.  I'm learning a little more about what I'm doing and am able to keep myself pretty busy.  I definitely learned that sheets are heavy last week!  I had 4 rooms to make up beds in and was going to try to carry the sheets for all 4 (each room has either 2 or 3 beds).  I couldn't even fit them all in my arms, much less carry them.  I guess that is why they told me when I was training that I could use a cart...good thinking!  One of my duties is to take care of the drink tabs that come in.  There must have been 9-10 gallons that had been brought in Friday.  Most were collected in milk jugs or other plastic drink bottles.  Those are great for fitting those small tabs in, but NOT great for getting them out.  So I ended up bruising up my knuckles, cutting open plastic jugs and bottles.   But it is all for a really good cause.  I really appreciate the good that this organization does for families with seriously ill children.

Jessica went to Arkansas for the weekend, so Sheila ended up coming over for supper both Friday and Saturday nights.  Then Sunday was another all afternoon study for the guys, so she and I went out to eat with Linda M. and Karen R.  Then we spent the afternoon visiting at Linda's house.  Such a pleasant day!  I love sitting and looking out the back windows at Linda's house.  Her backyard is so pretty and peaceful!  We watched a squirrel digging around in her flowers and several hummingbirds fighting over her 2 feeders.  After evening services, a group of us went to Rosa's for supper and had a very nice time visiting.  That along with two good lessons (one from Dennis on how our later days should be our best, and one from Israel on the book of Philemon) made for another wonderful Lord's Day!

Dennis is actually off today!  Hallelujah!!!  He hasn't been getting his days off this summer and it is really wearing on him.  It has been a nice, relaxing day.  He's been doing a little work around the house...working on fixing our old bed in the guest room (the box springs finally gave way), and has now gone to see the eye doctor.  He thinks he may have an infection in his left eye.  It has been red and tearing a lot lately.  He also went to talk to the superintendent at the Millsap schools to see if we could use their cafetorium at their new elementary school for our meeting.  It is looking very good right now!  We'd probably have both the services and the meals there if it works out, which will greatly simplify things for everyone.

Mandy and Stephen are coming Wednesday evening.  Mandy, Sheila and I are taking a little mini-vacation to Granbury while Stephen sets up camp at the state park here in MW.  The girls are taking me on this little trip for my belated birthday present.  We have reservations at a B & B that is located over a bookstore on the square.  We plan to play tourists for a couple of days and do some "bonding".  I'm looking forward to our time together!

Ps 90:12 ¶ So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.